I could never thank you guys enough. Not in a year, not in a century, not in a million gazillion years. Not ever.

Last year, i remembered posting something on my birthday citing it as the happiest day of my life, and well, it just keeps getting better year by year.

On the 9th of November, Eric was kind enough to offer an outing to OU the next day. Of course, being me as such a bad planner and with no plans at all, i totally agreed to go. Somehow i was talking to Ben and he asked me whether i was gonna have a party, you know, sweet 16 and stuff, i felt that it was a little too late for a party but with a little bit of an iron nerve, i asked mum whether i could have a barbeque. She convinced me she might not be free and a barbeque is alot of a hassle considering she might not be around. But didn't rule out a possibility and assuring me i will have my barbeque as planned by me maybe in the weekends. Oh well, better late than never yeah. Though i found it quite irritating having mum constantly asking me whether i had training in the evenings or am i going anywhere during then.

10 November, 12 am, messages and smses started flooding in though i tried my very best to reply each and every one of them. Tried asking chucs about whether she could make it for the movie with me and Eric and in return got turned down. Said she was busy, she left me wondering why everyone was so busy. Sis came in, left 20 ringgit on my table and wished me, then dad came up to me, hugged me and placed a black box and a card on my table, first look, i could only see the CREATIVE in white at the side of the box, as i lifted the card, i saw more than i could wish for, a Creative MuVo mp3 player coated in black. Either dad took a wild guess, or he's been reading my blogs realising i've been longing for an mp3 player ever since, whatever it is, i'm thankful to him. Read a few blogs and flopped into bed anticipating my movie outing with Eric and JoLin.

10 November, 8.45 am, training, training, training, got a 400m parlauf and 150m x 5 from sir as a birthday present. Though not too thankful for it. Coming back, i noticed grandma made her red syrup jelly and i found a tub of chicken wings in the fridge, i had a brief idea that most probably my family must've planned a party and invited all my relatives, i was hoping it was true.

10 November, 1.30 pm, i kept wondering what was keeping everyone so busy, being my birthday, sis made the once-in-awhile kind chaffeur and ferried me to OU, met up with Jo and Eric, Jubs and Mechell were there too. Earlier on, i had told Jo to go get Exorcism of Emily Rose tickets although i was quite worried about not being able to pass the cinema bouncers being underaged. Prayed it all goes well, and in the end, it did go well, note people, GSC OU bouncers are either looking for cheap money, blind, or they dont give a shit about whatever show you're watching. Which means we could all watch 18 PL shows without the need to get involved in a cat and mouse game.

10 November, During the show, i had my hands up to my face, both eyes peering in between my index and middle finger, ready to shut when something pops up on the screen with the boomest of boom sounds. Nudging Jo and Eric everytime some stupid Caucasians would go investigate whatever noises they hear and scaring the shit outta them everytime they do that! I must say the "Based on a true story" quote was somewhat disturbing.

10 November, After the show, Jo, Mechell and Jubs left for home and me and Eric, if you've seen us and cant hear what we're talking about, you'd think we're gay. We walked the whole top floor of the mall for a total 7 times, he'd be refusing to go bowling and i would be refusing to walk into FOS, his favourite. We bought eye-sheets (i dont know how you actually call it), those stuff where you wear on your eyes when you want a good night's sleep, yea that one, for Xin Yi as his birthday present. Then for some uncanny reason, Eric chose YIPPEE CUP as our place of dining, they have this table order thing where you press the buttons and waiters will attend to you, strict rules, you cant raise your hand or do anything to attract the waiter's attention but press the button. Eric had Lamb Chop and his mocha and i had my Fried Calamari and mango juice, all paid for. :) Once again, if you've seen us and not hear what we're talking about, you'd think we're gays. And to add to that, we got countless disturbing looks. Somewhere home, a group of ants were working their asses off.

10 November, On the way home, i offered Eric a ride home since he played the poor sheep with no transport, sis was once again the kind chaffeur and picked us up, Simon was in the car and from what i noticed, he was wearing shorts, which means sis is either sending him home, or sending him back to our home. Stuck in a minor traffic jam, sis typed a message on her cell, i wild guessed that she informed mum that she was stuck in a traffic jam and we might be a little late for dinner. As we neared KDU on the LDP, i told sis to go straight on to Kelana Jaya to send Eric home, unnaturally, and being a crazy fearless driver, she demurely said she couldn't drive in the heavy rain and asked Eric to go back to our house for dinner, then she'll send him home. And with Eric, quietly agreeing, my suspision arose like a termometer in boiling waters.

10 November, as we neared our house, in the mess of the heavy rain splattered across the windscreen, i could vaguely make out what seem to be mum's car parked outside, now mum wouldn't park her car outside unless there's a function involving tables spread across my front porch. And with the porch, gate and practically every light turned on, i told myself in my mind that this might not be just a small kitchen party i expected it to be. The gate opened, and the first thing i saw, was Mak Heong Weng scurrying inside my living room, "Mak???!! What's he doing there?!?" And then i noticed this banner decorated with green fonts that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINN(with extra sequins and glitter on JINN)" hanging above my front door. Looking at Eric, he gave me a faint smile, the kind on the side of his face. My adrenaline started pumping, i broke into a sweat, this is my first ever Surprise Party.

I was screaming like a baby in the car, hands over my face, refusing to step out of the car. Mum greeted us and my maid played the butler holding the umbrella over my head. I saw the table filled with food on the spot where mum always parked her car. Close to tears, i peeped into the living room and found no one, not even Mak, then noticing the mirror cabinet where we keep our Swavrovski crystals and plaques, i saw this huge group of people standing on their toes just beside the piano, anxiously waiting for me to step in, not knowing i was actually watching them through the mirror. "I can see all of you through the mirror la!" Laughter broke and i got the surprise of my life. Chucs started spraying me with all those party ribbons, messing my shirt up, and then my face, if my memory is right, i just stood rooted to the spot, stunned, whatever way you might put for being unable to move nor say a word. Mak, Cheng, Ee Jin, Chucs, XR, Avril, Ti Ming, Emelia, Li Ying, all standing in front of me, yelling Happy Birthday. I turned to mum and i told her "You never told me anything about this!! Nothing!!", I ran up to my room and mum came, asked me to go take a bath first while Eric was bugging me for a t-shirt. Mum told me "Everything was planned long ago before we went to China", i looked at Eric and attacked him with interogations. It was then i found out, every little thing was pre-planned, the outing, Eric, the "busy" excuses, Emelia telling me she had to "balik kampung". Planned long before i could think of.

The food was catered, specially catered by Avril's dad and i couldn't be more thankful, and Vril, tell your dad the food's fantastic, i just had it for lunch again just now and it was superb. Arvin, Jun Wei, Joanne, SueZan, Sanjay, Sarny, John, JoLin, JeanYi and Mechell joined us later on. I recieved many presents, but the biggest and the best, was given by everyone and it was the surprise party, honestly, i could never ever had asked for anything more than that. Thanks to every single one of YOU!

Special thanks to: Avril
Avril, you've been fantastic, you've been the planner(where did you get my sister's number?!?!?!??!), you made the banner, you've always listened to my rantings of the people i despise (hehe, right? right?), you've been a wonderful friend and still is, you totally made my day yesterday and i'm sure not only yesterday but yesterday was abit more la.. hehe.. I'm glad you share your problems with me, trust me, made me feel so very special. This maybe short compared to what you've written about me, but to tell you the truth, i dont have to write long essays for you to know that i'm thankful and i truly care. These words are meant for you, me and every jinnyboyy.blogspot.com reader to read and know, but you yourself know, that it has always been, more than just words. Thanks and lots of love. -Jinny

Chucchy, pet pet sister, chucolate, chucs, whatever your name is, you're always the same warm, sarcastic, caring pet pet sister i've ever known. You played a part in changing me front sitting bus nerd to a back-of-the-bus havoc. We've both grown so much since then. haha. I believe in our walks of life, we'll find our very own angels who will guide us and be with us all the time, and i guess i've already found one of them. You. :) Love. -Jinny

XR, you've been like an elder sister to me most of the time, guiding me, insulting me, calling me a brat, scolding me, why should i thank you? haha, because in the midst of all the things we've done, we have shared gallons and gallons of laughters, fun, everything little satisfying thing we could think of. Honestly, you and chucs have always been my guardian angels. And let me thank you for that! :) Love. -Jinny

Ee Jin, Jin sister, i hope you like your present, i certainly like mine, we've known each other for quite awhile now, and you too, are like a sister to me, we're always sharing the laughs and at times you would give me abit of fashion tips which i hardly follow. But oh dont worry, it aint just the fashion tips that matters, its you, and whatever you've done for me or we've done. Thanks Jin! Love. -Jinny

Emelia, i found your card just before i went to bed, i hope you beared with the smelly pillows when you stuck your hand in between them to hide your card, you must've been real brave. We've known each other for some time, and ever since, you are like the generator machine of lame-ness and amusement. You talk alot of crap online and also on the line, and well, i cant deny it but me too. I love the morning jog ideas and although we've only done it once, i want to go again. And i cant thank you enough for everything you've done for me, including the Bravo Two Zero. This whole paragragh about you, is only 1/10000000000 of what you really are, MAGNIFICENT. Love. -Jinny

Chengo, dia ni dewi malaikat, tapi dalam drama acting saje. haha. Hey chengs, i will keep the coupon safe in my treasure chest and i will redeem it when i really really need it most. That time, i wish you have more coupons to give away and only to me! :) You're unbelievable! Love. -Jinny

Eric, fuck off, you made us look like gay asses when you juat HAD to choose YIPPEE CUP. But thanks for paying for it. NO Love. -Jinny

John, whatever you wrote about me in your blog, i just wanna ditto back to you. You're no worse than what you wrote about me, only better. And i thank you for being you. Love. -Jinny

To everyone else, thank you all for everything, from keeping the surprise party a secret to making your presence felt at the party or in my life. Ti Ming and Joanne, thanks for the banner, to those who gave me presents but never write their identities down, i thank you, and to everyone in my life who matters most. THANK YOU! And i love you all. :)

Now i can proudly and whole-heartedly say, I HAD THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE ON THE 10TH OF NOVEMBER 2005.

Msn space is being a bitch today, i'm here halfway uploading my Shanghai pics and it just closes and tells me my webpage is unavailable. Go to hell.

Well tonight, i'm feeling dead as ever. Dont ask me why. Dont question me. Dont say anything. Dont give a shit. It's just... life.

Most of the time you cant always get the life that you're endlessly dreaming of. As for me, i dont have much expectations on life, just a perfect soul.

Hate,
Jinny

Time flies so damn fast, it literally scares me. Exactly a week ago, i was walking along the Suzhou streets, gazing into pubs and nightclubs, patiently waiting for the others to finish parading their new 200 yuan Nikes and Adidas' while having weird chinamen come up to me asking me whether i'd wanna watch girls dance, which if i would've gladly accepted, lead me to a bedroom with FOC condoms.

Well just a day after arriving, i swore to myself that i'll never visit China anymore in the near future. Though i dont remember much about Beijing 5 years ago, i'm suggesting they're all the same. Chinamen yelling into their cellphones, cutting queues in Kedi (China's 7/11), pushing and shoving around when they feel like, 4 star hotels charging 4 RMBs for dirty towels stained with Coke and another 10 RMBs for taking off with their laundry bag. And the drivers, oh the drivers, we all thought Malaysian drivers were pigs on flying brooms, but chinamen, they put Malaysian drivers into so much shame, we'd sell all our cars away. They swerve lanes like Daytona, honk whenever they feel like as though in a wedding procession, and an accidental dent on your car and you get yourself into a brawl involving traffic polices, bystanders and occassionally, elderly citizens who cant keep their asses off other people's business. But then again, Malaysian drivers are still like pigs on flying brooms.

Being around late-autumn, i was clad in my jumpsuit almost the whole trip through. The wind wasn't enough to cause brain-freeze but at times, things can get really chilly. Their time-zone is exactly like back here, except by right, it should've been 2 hours ahead. The sun sets at around 4.30pm and by 6, things get pitch black. But of course, on the other end of it all, the sun rises at 5.30am, so to us lazy Malaysians, we get less sleep than back home.

I can shamelessly say that i've spent more on souvenirs than i did on myself. Although i dont know where my extra 100 RMBs went. I bought myself the whole season 1 of Lost there for 56 RMBs and even though i doubt the DVDs are original, i finished it today and the resolution wasn't at all different than whatever i've downloaded, so i guess it was a good buy. Apart from that, a headlamp for 55 RMBs and a Nike utility bag for 80 RMBs (thanks to mum's bargaining skills) which i didn't even pay for. The rest are all just sweets sweets sweets and more sweets, maybe a couple of other stuff, chopsticks and all.

Despite getting the first row seats, the 777 wasnt at all comfortable. To and fro. The seats were narrow and to have your tray, screen, headphones, remote, pillow and blanket all out at the same time, you wouldnt even have enough space to adjust yourself on your seat. The good thing is, you get to stretch your legs. En route to Shanghai, i had The Longest Yard on my screen while savouring my cream chicken. I went on to play some "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and chess before knocking out at around 4.30 am while still somewhere above Phnom Phenh. On the way home, it was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and szechuan chicken. I admit i was abit jittery before the flight, worrying about "what if(s)", what if we ran 1000 miles off course and crash into a mysterious island with mysterious creatures, and the rescue are searching for us in the wrong place? Thoughts like that, running through my head, when we take off, when we hit turbulence, when the plane suffers a sudden drop and your heart just falls to the floor. What if? What if? What if? TOO MUCH LOST!

At the end of the day, i think back on the last seven days and think to myself, was it worth it planting myself with negative thoughts at the start of it all and not really enjoying myself to the fullest? But i guess it was a great experience, cubicles lined along a drain which they so proudly call the toilet, urinal basins placed in places where people walking outside can watch you pee, the people, the con-men nature of the people, the good food, even better scenary, the conjob land where our ancestors once called home. China.

And today, i have an ulcer happily expanding on my tongue. I finished Lost season 1, and dad's got his new car. I'll try uploading my pictures of China and posting the url as soon as i possibly can. So there.

Love,
Jinny

This is it, in another 6 hours, i'll be boarding the MAS Boeing 777 to Shanghai. My family's stealing some sleep right now and i'm the only one awake, still busy packing. And pray if all goes well, i'll be having breakfast in Shanghai in around 12 hours from now.

Sis' boyfriend Simon will be at my house by 10 to send us all to the airport. There we'll meet up with another friend family and my cousin and his mum from M'cca, sadly his sister couldnt make the trip due to an operation on her knee for a rare problem called Villo Nodular Synoditis. Thank god it all went well, she's still in the hospital though and her dad stayed back to accompany her, imagine all the fun we can have if they all went. :(

Now how i wish they have internet access in planes so i can blog while on the way.

Here's a few pics of the process of packing as of now.

My study table.

My hand and check-in luggage.

I better go finish packing, to everyone, have fun back here or anywhere you go kay? And do get souvenirs for me too! See y'all in a weeks time and Happy Halloween!

Love,

Jinny

No morning walk today!! Emelia couldn't wake up!! I dozed back after waking up to see 7:32 am on my digital clock, she admitted she couldnt wake up, tsk tsk tsk!

Well tonight is the night i'll be flying off to Shanghai for a 7 day holiday. Sad thing is, i've not packed, was supposed to pack last night but i ended up having my eyeballs glued to National Geographic. Inside 911, where they uncover the agenda and heroic acts of the NY residents during the attacks. Not to mention the acts of the mthrfking terrorist cowards. How they pushed the wrong PA button to transmit their voices to the control towers instead of the aircraft cabins. Claim they die for religion and as an act of honour to kill thousands of innocent people. Fuck them idiots!!

Chucolate and i were having this webcam convo last night and we talked about our mosquito killing weapons and sims 2 and my Shanghai trip. She told me i should insist i sit near the windows so i can see everything under the plane, but i politely reminded her mine's a night flight. She went "oh better still, maybe can see GLOW IN THE DARK BIRDS". I mean, wtf? If really got, i'll catch one for you so you can hang it in your room at night okay? *cough*

To add into my already full shopping list, Cze wants me to get her silk pjs, and a shawl, and lots of sweets. Emmy T wants her tea-set with some of China's finest tea. Well, at least the rest JUST wants sweets eh? :p

And lastly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIN SISTER!! Known you for quite awhile now, you've always been a great friend who has cared and loved all throughout. And i dare say i'm really proud to've known someone called Tan Ee Jin! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love,
Jinny

I know its a Saturday morning, no teen in their right mind would wake up at 6.30 just to go for a morning walk. But i guess me and Emelia arent in our right minds anyway. Eh Emelia? Haha. Initially we planned to leave our houses at 6.30, she was up earlier than planned, but me, as my ass grew heavier, i didnt wanna get off my bed, i thought maybe if i snoozed for a little while more, it wouldnt hurt. I tried to sound as awake as possible when she called, though i cant really remember what time i actually get off my bed, i was guessing 10 minutes after 6.30. But that didnt stop us from walking and talking till the sun came up. Lets do this one more time before i go off for Shanghai shall we Emelia!? We'll go at 6 tomorrow morning, you know i like walking in the dark. :)

After much wait, I have finally gotten Andy McNab's Deep Black, i'll be having something to read in the plane after all. And big sis just got back from S'pore for a ONE day stay.

The Wong Kok Char Chan Teng in SS2 isn't as bad as i thought. I always had the thought that Hong Kong food was as rude and undelicious as the locals there. But i guess if you mix it up with a bit of the Malaysian touch, it'll do just fine. Ever since the rest of my family found out i was this big eater, everytime someone would have difficulty consuming anything (anything at all), undoubtly, it'd be on my plate. Today my grandaunty couldn't finish her whatever mixed cheese rice, having asked me whether i want any of it on my plate and being denied several times, to my horror, she just started shifting scoop by scoop onto my plate, she did it in such a speed, i didnt even have the time to refuse. If she wasn't my GRANDaunty, i would've just tossed everything back, but you know, it aint nice to refuse something already given to you, and she knows advantage is on her side. Who cares, to show my protest, i left it at the side of the plate, untouched.

Ish.

Love,
Jinny

I dont write my posts in a diary format very often, but today, i feel like it.

Me and Ming trashed Sam, Wes and Haren 25-18 in our Senior vs Junior Volleyball face-off before boss came rolling in with his Chrome Proton Waja, seeing us playing volleyball instead of executing our drills, he honked furiously at us. Though i haven't jogged, stretched, nor did my drills, i had no choice but to tell him we all finished and are actually waiting for him, no doubt i owned up that volleyball was my idea, he just gave me that "WTF" look.

As i was sitting on the Astaka, on the spot where Mr.Allen would stand and yell at anyone with distinctively long hair during assembly, i noticed that if you'd use the miniature granite rocks to scratch the cemented surface of the astaka, you'll get a nice white line similiar to chalk. Being the itchy hand me, i drew a man with a spear on a boat hunting wild boars, then feeling as accomplished as ever, i went round telling people i'd created cave art. This time, everyone gave me that "WTF" look. -.-"

After training, me and jie braved the main busy road once again to get to Cze Wien's house, we always go to the Kelana Jaya pasar Ramadhan together to buy whatever that would make us fat in the long run, then cycle back to her house, put polite faces in front of her mum and berbuka puasa. Being the last time we'd berbuka puasa together, we bought a little extra today, Sotong Bakar! And then the usual, satay, otak-otak, air tebu, murtabak and lots and lots of fried stuff. As usual, gossiped, chatted, joked, almost everything 3 friends would do while dining together. Sadly Michelle couldnt join us this time. Really funny how a form 4 like me would click so so so so well with a bunch of Form 5s. And i mean, really really well. Looking forward to more of those dinners after all your SPMs! At least none of you would give me that "WTF" look.... i guess..

Now i'm just hoping sis would come back with my new Andy McNab novel, i cant wait.

By the way, out of the blue, here's my wishlist of luxuries i doubt i'll never get anytime soon:

• An Ipod Nano
• A Pearl EXR825H Export Radical 5-piece Drumset
• Lost Season 1 complete DVD
• Nokia 7280 Triband GSM Camera Cell Phone
• Nike Mercurial Vapor 2 boots
• Adidas F-50+ boots
• Nolia 6670
• Adidas Pedator Pulse boots
• Nike Men's Zoom Miler, Gold and White spikes
• Adidas Meteor spikes (I have the red/black one, but i really want the light silver metallic/forest/white)
• 2005 GMC Sierra 1500 Regular Cab Standard Box 4WD WT (its an SUV)
• Sony Playstation 3
• XBOX video game system
• Deuter Aircontact 45+10 Backpack
• Nike Men's Free 5.0 Running Shoes
• Umbro X Boot KTK SG football boots
• Ludwig Accent 5-piece Power Drumset
• Men's TEVA Cross Terra Sandal
• Andy McNab's Bravo Two Zero
• Ahead 5B Aluminium Drumsticks
• Carbosticks (Pair) Carbo-Rods C/Fusion Drumsticks

There you have it. These are some things dad wouldn't wanna lay his eyes on. Damn!

Love,

Jinny

My inspiration for my posts builds up when i'm in the shower, honestly, i think stuff or ideas more than anytime else in the shower. I dont know if its the water that stimulates the mind but whatever it is, it is effective.

Emelia started sms-ing me at 6.30 this morning. The night before we had already made a pact of waking each other up for a good jog, and then she msged me at 6.45 this morning telling me she's too tired to go when i'm already on the verge of waking up. So being the usual me, i told her that it was totally up to her and when back to sleep, until 11. And right now, i regretted not waking up early, i've practically missed training, futsal and i feel like i've wasted my whole morning. And that sucks.

My Friday looks kinda bleak and boring, there isn't any plans except for sis to take me to OU to get my Andy McNab novel which i truly feel might not even work out. I cant stay online for the whole day, or else i'll get an eye-strain, and neither can i watch too much tv because i have the tendency of falling asleep everytime i lie on my stomach on mum and dad's bed while watching the tv, and when i wake up, i'll get crankier and crankier. So, what the hell can i do???

I'm thinking about looking for a new drums teacher, the current i have isn't really good, i mean he's good on the drums, but time-management and punctuality wise, he sucks. And i'm already getting sick of commuting to Amcorp every saturday afternoon just for a half-hour class. And i'll be looking for a job this holidays to earn cash so i dont have to live off mum and dad for a drumset. Although i might have a problem putting it in the house, im sure we'll work it out, eh dad?

It startles me how everyone seems to be flying off to China recently, dad says its the cheapest and best place to go, so being ants following the rest to the candy, we're leaving for Shanghai on Monday, 31st October, 1.45am. For a well cold 7 days, I'm glad we'll be staying in huge hotels, having not residing in a 5 star hotel since i occupied my holidays with OBS and XPDC. So, anything above 4 stars is a plus plus for me.

I need to go out! I cant stay at home! Urgh.
People go download The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You by My Chemical Romance, just being a good friend and an even faithful MCR fan. :)

Love,
Jinny

I fell in love with the corpse bride, and i mean literally THE corpse bride. Honestly, i find something in her quite attractive, her body language. Why do i fall for people who i'm throughly aware i'll never ever get?!

And life isn't getting much better. And i finally realized, why no one really realises the negative traits of the "people" i mentioned in my last few posts. Thats because these people are bloody two-faced. They act differently in front of different scores of people, especially people of the opposite sex, that's why no one really knows their true selves. Sigh, open your eyes people! Sometimes we just tend to overlook the most obvious things in life.

And if you're planning to watch Corpse Bride, do watch out for these 2 buggers on the left, they're so cute. :p

Dear God, sometimes i wish i could just slit my own wrists without worrying about anything else. Watch the blood trickle down my arms. Anticipating the part where my vision just blurs, my breathing to get heavier, and heavier, and heavier, and in the end, everything just turns black. So i JUST DONT HAVE TO FACE MY WORLD.

I'm just surrounded by people who seem to hurt me every little day, feeling helpless, that you cant do anything about it unless you're into commiting murder just to exterminate the people you hate. The feeling just breaks you down, you look at the people you hate move about, enjoying life till the outer limits. I dont entirely blame those i hate, the people around giving respect, and attention and all, makes me even more frustrated. What do i do? I've slammed my fists on tables, cupboards, chairs. Yes i know, it sounds like i've got a serious personal problem. Fuck it, its been like this since ever. Friends telling you they really care when most of them just couldn't give a fuck at all! Why yes, the kind assuring words of others do seem like sweet music to the ears, but behind it all, behind it all... It just gets more fucked up as my life wastes away.

As much as i can prove my urging wishes of cutting my wrists or slitting my throat, I might have comed up with probably the stupidest sounding yet fucking true thing. Everyone loves BIG flirts dont we? Girls i know do, guys i know do too. I guess, most of the time, you've gotta flirt like a butterfly to the blindest of blind people to get somewhere. Dont prove me wrong, cause those who do, I'll prove them wrong too.

At least dad just lectured me for my results, in a quite subtle way, he managed to relax things abit although I'm still gushing with gothic thoughts of murder and suicide. Sometimes i'd just wonder, why am i placed here, in this land, with so many infidels and idiots around me, i'd happily give up anything, anything at all to get myself to a new environment, be it more problematic than the one im facing now, i dont care, i just need to get away. No wait, i WANT to get away!

If you think this blog is turning into a mad-drag black gothic suicidal depressing cooking pot, you have either 2 choices, continue looking forward to my posts, or just delete this url off your links, or address books or just clear out your whole history of sites and never remember this url ever ever again. I seriously recommend deleting this add to those who cant stand swearing or cuss words, or to those who feel offended, or even those who live their lives without thinking about anyone else. Ooh, and self-proclaimed casanovas and holy people, this i BEG you to NOT read my blog at all!

Im quite convinced after this post, my blog would just turn into a ghost town, its okay though. I'll read my posts alone. :)

If conditions do not improve, those who choose to stay would have more interesting-cum-depressing reads to come if i can find the right "inspiration". Oh and fuck those who i've indirectly mentioned in this blog, i hope you know who you are.

Sour Love,
Jinny

Hey, people, that's my dinnerfor tonight, believe it or not, I made it all by myself. :)

All you need: Brocolli, one potato, one midget carrot, white dory fillet/chicken fillet, miniature prawns, fresh milk, planta (a must!), few tablespoons of salt, Italian herbs, and *drumrolls* Cradox white cream mixture.

Brocolli, potato, carrot boiled in one go. Fillet and prawns boiled first, then pan-fried. Milk poured over frying fillet and prawns. Leave it to brown for approx 10 minutes over a slow fire. Brocolli taken out leaving carrot and potato to continue boiling. Finally, blend Cradox white cream mixture with cold water, leave mixture to boil for 15 minutes while stirring continueously. Arrange food on plate, pour white cream over while still hot. Bon Appetit.

I apologize for this post sounding more like a science experiment.

Love,
Jinny

Somehow today, i've decided to expunge my messy, overgrown hair. Since the holidays are here, i've decided to add minor slits here and there. Take a look.

BEFORE:

AFTER TODAY:

Oh well, the only thing to console me is that fact that IT'LL GROW BACK! For now, lets all just be satisfied shall we? :)

Love,

Jinny

I have finally realized how its like to cheat death. When your adrenaline starts pumping, you break into an uncontrollable sweat, you cant cycle straight, you wait till the old man who saw it all happen is out of sight then curse him for cursing you, when you give yourself a small smile and try telling yourself its okay, when you see the lady in the car yelling in shock while banging her fists on the steering wheel, basicly, when you realize what a lucky fucker you are.

I just realized i might just die way before my great-grandma's time, after one escape, im sure the next time it wouldnt be too lenient on me.

Okay, I nearly got into a mess when my bike just merely whisked past this lady's front bumper, like all hollywood actors of actresses would recite in their scripts, i swore i couldnt remember a thing except for NOT looking in front of my bike and the screeching of tyres and bursting honk. Though i can remember the old man giving me an awry look and yelled to me with a tone that your dad would when you'd tell him you dent his car door, he said:

"Young man, you want to mati? Dont you cycle like that!"

With that quote, i got so scared i just kept on cycling, it was then i noticed the seriousness of things, and how in the world had i managed to come out of it unscathed. I'd imagine if i'd really had my head smashed against her bonnet and the sound of the sirens and to wake up in another place. Thank my karma i'm telling all of you this while you're sitting your butts in front of the computer than by my bedside. And if it wouldve got worse, you'd have my parents, or the lady, or the old man relating my story to you while im lying in my box.

Again, as cliched as it may ever ever sound, this post is just to tell you guys to appreciate those around you while they're still alive and kicking. You never know when its too late.

I'm THANKFUL that i'm still here on my swivling chair typing this out at 6:01 pm and not having my brain juices cleaned off a bonnet. Gosh.

Love,
Jinny

In loving memory of Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood, the First Lady of Malaysia, who passed on from breast cancer early this morning. The whole Malaysia's mourning, and if you've not noticed, even the skies. Amazing how the clouds have so much water particles to last a whole morning and late afternoon.

I've finally finally started training after a long lay-off and i've been under the rain since this morning. I do realize i might have a fever coming up on me soon.

Anyway, reading through my archives today, the main purpose of this post is to thank everyone who's been reading my blog ever since a year ago or even if you've just started today. Honestly, I would similiarise it with the progress that the port of M'cca did almost 600 years ago. From a dark, black, cold blog with short posts, to an orange fiesta with colourful alphabets and a saucy theme, and now back to the old black and cold theme dubbed Into The Cold. With over 110 posts, I'm amazed how this blog has progressed through a year when my first motive was just to create a blog and post my training schedules and timetables for others to see (Yes, I'm not kidding!). I guess right now, its already a part of me, just like my computer, or MSN, or my beloved handphone. I guarantee you i dont know any other way to express myself and let others know but through this blog and i'm very very thankful for that.

Every post or comment you make either in my posts or on the chatterbox, will only spur me to strive and make this blog more interesting than before, in simple terms, comments and the presence of everyone out there who reads this is indeed the blood flow of this blog! Keep it flowing guys!

Special thanks to those who've been reading and visiting this blog ever since its first few posts, Chucchy, XR, Mira, Melly Spinelli, Vrillie, Big Sis, 2nd Sis, and Julie, and to everyone who I've not mentioned here, you know I love you! :) THANKS Y'ALL!

Love,
Jinny

Always let a girl do what she's meant to do.

Terrible wrapping, but hey chucs, these are for you! :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Friends aren't really friends anyway. Most of them just wanna suck the shit outta ya.
And then there are those who only go for the fame above friendship. And famous friendships if you know what I mean.

There's no more use talking about problems in life and what's bothering me, no one's ever gonna change. Not for you, not even for the good of themselves because their motives are all screwed up and shit.

If you're not famous with your group of friends, you're most likely never gonna get anywhere.

Fuck.

It's happened again.

Its happening again! Its raining! Right now, on a Sunday morning. This couldnt be more perfect.

For those who arent really finding happiness in whatever they do in life, go listen to Radiohead's Creep. Its really meaningful and flooding with emotion, reminds me of myself sometimes.

Radiohead - Creep

When you were here before, couldn't look in your eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish i was special
You're so fuckin special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here

I dont care if it hurts
I want to take control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here, oh, oh

She's running out the door
She's running out, she run, run, run, run, run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here
I dont belong here

And then there's 1979 from Smashing Pumpkins, another good one.

Love
Jinny

The occasional ecstasy.

Finally! The sky has finally poured on a weekend morning! And I was right on my bed, with the sky so dark, and my room coloured the same way to suit the sky, basicly, everything was so dark and cold, and I told mum to leave the window open before leaving for M'cca and so she did. Imagine, snoozing around on bed, with the occasional rumbling of the thunder, and the grey sky, the pitter-patter of the rain, the darkened room with your comforter as the only source of warmth. Nothing, and trust me, NOTHING could be better! Especially on weekends.

Spent the almost the whole of today in OU, walking around, visiting the same places more than 3 times, after almost 9 hours of walking, OU just seems sooo small. Bumped into almost everyone I know there. Spent 40 bucks today on stuff that I dont usually buy. And 4 Brothers wasn't bad at all. Although I do feel guilty for skipping drums and dinner with my aunt.

This I take the opportunity to wish my blog a very happy belated belated belated birthday. 1 Year Old! People!! Well not exactly ONE right now lah, supposed to be on the 29th but better late than never.

This is for you Bloggie!!

I swore i couldve tore all you mofos up to bits!! Just because your hell-hole colour gang or whatever shit gang has all its members fail moral, you guys rejoice at the sight of me failing my moral and say i complete the whole gang. You fuck ass mofos!

And then there's moral, i was hoping i wouldve at least NOT failed anything this time, and looked on course in doing so when all i needed was another 27/80 to pass add maths, and then i found out i got a fucking 27 for moral. Once and for all, FUCK MORAL!!

If i do fail another subject, dont be surprised to see me standing over the ledge of the pedestrian bridge threatening to jump into a highway of cars. Or maybe just banging tables and smashing ornaments around my house. My temper cannot be contained in situations like this. Boys dont cry, remember? ONCE AGAIN, FUCK MORAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And again i swore to god i couldve just started screaming in class just now, fucking sick showing your "im cool" face around when inside your burning hot. And for this time, I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THE SWEARING AND CUSS WORDS BECAUSE I COULDNT CARE LESS!!!!!

Ever getting lost in translation while writing a post? It's irritating, I know...

The good ol form 3s just finished their PMR and are lost in the fits of freedom while the "older" ones, like me, are still stuck with the finals having 3 days to go. From tomorrow onwards, its all shading the round alphabetic boxes once again, except for modern maths 2 and english 2. Apart from that, everything should be on a downhill scale from now on.

I'm slowly getting hooked to Lost like everyone's hooked on to OTH, or OC, or Laguna Beach. Although the long downloads mostly dont get my patience very well, but I'm coping with it, and hopefully my Ares AND Limewire doesnt stall due to a download overdrive.

And then there are some people in life who are just idiots. They go around insulting the looks of others and when it comes to themselves, they sing their own praises. I guess I'm the only one feeling this way because others just DONT see it. Never ever ever ever ever ever judge a capati by its sarong-wearing cook. <---- The effects of acid rain, global warming and a whole lot of study.

Well then, this post is just to give you a quick update that I am not underground yet and pretty much still kicking. Till my next post.

And to all Tmn SEA form 3s, boring la you ppl. You guys are no match for our PMR-ending celebration. Cheh.

Love,
Jinny

A new look..

Now people, i've finally decided to do a makeover for my blog and browsing through the template lists, I came across this theme.

Dubbed Into the Cold, this theme is mainly to emphasise mostly on the coldness in and around our daily lives. As you all know, I'm pretty much of a dramatic post person. So to me, this theme suits me like an enzyme to its substrates (too much biology it seems). I dont know about the opinions of others, but heck it, its my blog!

Tag your comments! :)

Love,
Jinny

Yep, thats right, 5 more days! For now, we're or rather i'm still frolicking around the net, telling myself that its Friday and i should chill out. Chilling out indeed.

I've gotten two marks back though, and i do see a vast improvement in marks, and hopefully this fine form of reward comes in at a swifter and much more consistent pace.
Sejarah paper 2 : 52/80
Add Maths paper 2: 45/100 (come on.. its already a miracle for me!)

One week ago, i already started planning in absorbing my surroundings and intepreting it into a probably 3000+ word blog post to round up on my views and goals and of course, what i do feel about society, and well, mainly also to prove people wrong that only girls can write really long posts about their love lives and gossips. I'd prefer my blog posts to be erm.. like erm.. coup de grace.. you know..

Anyway, I've decided against writing that super long post anytime soon but instead, I present, to you:
The To-Do List After 14th October and mainly before whatever date RKA falls on: *drum roll*

• Use the computer without feeling any guilt or despair
• Persuade mum and dad to get me a drumset!!
• Not think too much about results
• Convince dad that I tried my best in the exams
• Go gallavanting! *a must!*
• Get a new Andy McNab novel
• Look forward to Shanghai trip with much anticipation
• Clean my study table
• Frequent my evening walks with Oscar around the neigbourhood
• Pump air into my bicycle tyres
• Search for an Add Math and Chemistry home tutor
• Partaaaayyyyyyy!!
• Late-night movies at Brads and night-school-explorations with torchlights and the walky talkies... hahaha.. *ooh i love this one*
• Play more futsal
• Go shopping for a new collared shirt that is NOT red
• If possible, find a new drum teacher
• I think i mentioned this already but..Partttaaayyyyyyyyy!!!
• Get Fifa 06 and Winning Eleven 9
• Get myself a handy, trusty mp3 player

As for now, I'd wanna go castrate some mosquitoes and maybe watch abit of the magnificent invention of the Television. I've already got an eye-strain.. shit

Love,

Jinny

When it all goes down....

Exactly 10 more days to the end of finals and counting! :)

Yesterday morning, great-grandma collapse again, just like the scenario the other time when it was really serious, this time, she had her drips and was back later in the afternoon. Due to slight de-hydration, she fainted during breakfast.

To that someone out there, who had a drumstick fall on his head at approx 5.05pm yesterday at the Taman Jaya LRT station, I'm really really sorry. I noticed the train approaching just after i tapped my touch n go card on the sensor so i took the stairs instead of the escalator. To go up faster, I hopped the first few steps alternately and swung my hand carrying the drumstick bag a little too aggressively, a drumstick flew right out of a small opening and flung against the pillar, being cylinder-ish, I chased after my rolling drumstick and to curse my luck, before i could collect it, it rolled right under the railing and onto the ledge (I was on the 3rd floor and the taxi stand was right below, so the fall must've hurt somebody real bad), yeeaap.. it rolled over the ledge and I stood there petrified. Screw it i thought, its only A drumstick, and if I'd go down to get it, I'd risk getting a hammering and losing another RM1 or so getting back in.

Estimated losses yesterday: ONE LA special Hickory 7A drumstick = RM19/2 = RM9.50
Abit of confidence in revisiting the Taman Jaya LRT station
RM 6.50 for a lousy drink
Part of my sanity...

The week to come is plagued with nags and very very important yet hard papers. And to EVERYONE who's in Form 3, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR PMR!

Love,
Jinny

As easy as it sounds to the ears, another good morning and afternoon has been wasted.
I know I'm leading myself to my own destruction.

What the hell is happening to me??!

The only thing that spurs me on right now -->

Swedish Almondy Cake with Daim inside.

Life was just too perfect then......

Looking back at those carefree times, when all you worry about is whether your toys are safely kept, or how many of your cousins will turn up everytime you balik kampung.

My cousins in this capture with me are the few closest ones even until right now, I admire this photo of its authenticity, the innocence in the looks, and basicly, just the fun we had taking it, and even by looking at this photo.


In case you're lost in the faces, I'm the one tormenting my cousin in blue.

"You cant always get what you want."

MSSM Champion School Relay in Kedah has taken a quick 4 days off my life. Well, to talk about our results would mean I'm still not over it, but heck, of course I'm still not over it. Jordan Jordan, our last runner, technically our fastest 200m runner in the team, what happened to the last 10m or so in the finals? This is everything you need to know.

22nd September 2005: Woke up at 6 to do a double check and pack the dried clothes that were hanging around my room the whole night through into an overpacked luggage bag. Set off for school at the usual time. And from there, arrived at Cobra Club where the rest of the Selangor team were staying at approx 7.30am. The only thing not worth enjoying is the 8 hour bus rides with multiple toilet breaks. No wonder it took 8 hours. Arrived at Alor Star at 5pm, settled into our dorms (as usual, the boys get the cramped, bottom-floor, ugly toilets dorm, and the girls?, the NEW block! Not tryna be a sexist, but God is a girl man...) So what do 5 curious guys do when they settle into an unknown territory and the toilets are a wreck? Of course, they search for toilets of their own. Our toilet (secret! as we claim la), was this secluded spot inside the school compound, and we only bathe when the students have all gone home, and NO, we weren't naked. Today's the first time I'm in Kedah and I finally know where the heck Butterworth is.

23rd September 2005: Bus leaves for the stadium at 7.30am, the 4x200m heats was the only event in the morning, as we reached the stadium, hung around for about 1 hour before Boss started nagging about warming up. I took my Ponstan(painkiller) tablet hoping it might take effect just in time for the race. Warming up, I guess we pretty much took the back-seat, didn't really warm ourselves well when they ushered us into the reporting zone, it all happened so fast, the only thing i can remember is the cold, stiff muscle feeling when I was doing my wind sprints, it was then I knew I'm in deep shit. And true enough, we clocked the 8th fastest time (1:38:61), and to make matters worse, we were the last qualifier to the finals, so it was really a narrow escape. Lazed the whole afternoon through at our secret toilet reading sejarah and listening to Audioslave. The damned Ponstan started taking effect at night.... =.=

24th September 2005: Morning was a free, until the afternoon, we were psyching ourselves with consoling words like "No pressure" and "We have nothing to lose, we cant go any worse than 8th". Although we knew that the first 2 medals were totally out of reach, (Kelantan and Perak were freaking fast!), the best we could hope for was a bronze. Somehow, the finals seemed perfect, our warm up was perfect, not much pressure mounted on our backs, the weather was quite warm, which adds the effect to our warming up, at that moment, we were actually confident we could really nick the bronze medal from the other 5 finalists. Even the Kelantanese wearing their professional body suits weren't enough to jitter me. For once, it was like the perfect race.
The gun went off, I yelled my nervousness with curious glares from the crowd sitting behind me, although we were placed in the 7th lane, I really though Ming Hee did quite well for his first 180m or so, until he stepped on my marker and I set off, now usually once the runner who's passing the baton reaches the marker, a standard yell of "UP" to signal to the runner recieving the baton to lift his arms in a stretch and then simutaneously, recieve the baton. But Ming Hee was abit special then, instead of the "UP", he yelled "Jinn! Jinn! Cannot ar! Cannot ar!", I had no choice but to slow down, once I had the baton, it was a blur, though I cant really remember my run, I do remember Boss' words of "Relax Run!" repeating over and over again in my head, my baton passing to Mogan couldn't get anymore perfect and after his pass to Jordan, somehow, I had that tingling feeling of him not really making it to 3rd place, it's like an intuition, when you have feelings like that, it usually happens. Jordan was in 3rd place when the baton was passed on to him, and 3rd place was the best bet. Though I didnt have the best view of the whole incident, the 2 faster teams were already far ahead, and in 3rd place, was Selangor, with Jordan, our hope-bearer, and then behind him was the chasing pack, 5 states, all chasing Jordan like a swarm of bees, none with the intention to give up. To make a long sotry short, we were overtaken in the last 20m, not one, but all 5 states (eg. Tsunami), and well, whats worst than 8th place? In the end, we were left convincing ourselves that it was indeed a very very close race and like a "fight till the end" scene, the 1st 3 runners got a few praises, and Jordan?, he didn't sleep well that night. Selangor was 6th in the rankings overall and only a mere 2 points seperates us from Sabah who are in 3rd, if we couldve won our race.......

25th September 2005: Another 8 hours back home.

There, the report on the last 4 days, this post has been written with a disturbance of the fact that my exams start in 2 days, and I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY have not studied anything seriously!

This is a picture of my feet, wrapped and medicated with mum's all-time-favourite Swedish Bitter. And right now, I really really cant walk, not even around my room. Everytime the feet feels pressured, it responds by plunging me into a excruciating pain. Sigh.. And I'm running this Friday, if its school sports or whatever, its fine, but NO, MSSM, no room for error, and its just another 3 days left.

Well, to you Julie, thank you for your care and support. Really, thank you soo soo soo much.. :)

Well this is it, there are so many things I wanna say, but I've decided to keep it a little longer, maybe after the exams whatsoever.

Leaving for Kedah on a 10 hour bus ride on Thursday morning. And with my feet injury, I'm really really in a bad state right now, so bad I have to resort to Ponstan, some sort of painkiller.
No doubt it takes away the pain from my feet, but will it take away the pain of my heart? Geez, I'm melancholic again.

So to all readers, I'll either see you online tomorrow, or when i get home, that is, on Sunday. I guess apart from the free Selangor running vest and tracksuit I'll get, and hopefully the Gold medal, I'm not really looking forward to the 10 hour trip, and not only that, the thought of being away from Peejay to Kedah (soooo farrrr) for 4 days, without msn, without going to school and seeing everybody there, without the mcds and burger kings, and my drum lesson!! Please do, send me short text messages to make me feel QUITE at home. :)

Oh and to those people who'd hope for me to perish from this world, (I'm not saying there are, but you'll never know), well, you might get what you want sooner than expected, dont ask me why, but I feel like I'm filled with health hazards, the constant spinal pain, the searing chest pains, all-too-often migraines, constant nose-bleed, joint aches. More things undescribable, it just worries me, I've not told anyone in my family, therefore, I dont know why the hell am I revealing it in my blog. For my two sisters to read and then maybe break it out to my parents? Well as long as I keep shrugging it off, things might get worse, sighhhhhh, I guess I'll leave it to my karma.

The last place I'd wanna be laid to rest peacefully is in Kedah, so lets pray for the best then!
Till I see you people again, and your smses on my phone.... :D hee... hee.. peace.

Love,
Jinny

Keep it in your fragile hearts, and dont say a word, h**cracks!

Thanks for everything you've done, I hate you.

I wished that could be amplified a thousand times through the microphones, and PA systems, and propaganda inhalers. Just to let you and everyone know how I feel.

"You": (Not necessarily targetted at ONE person, but to every single one I'd loooovvvveeee to mention in my blog!)(honestly, there's toooooo many of em!)

Why do i care so much about the feelings of the people who have hurt me the most? And are STILL hurting me day to day. Sometimes, be a little too nice to the wrong people and you're condemned to a silent living hell.

And people, these are the few things that I'd personally declare too HOT to handle:
1) My Chemical Romance
2) Kate Beckinsale
3) Rhona Mitra
4) Peterpan (Indon Band)
5) The focking weather
6) Emily Browning (yes, still her)
7) IPOD NANO!!!

AND.......

8) UNmaterialistic girls ( Love me for me, as they say)

One time too many.

Attention: Armed and dangerous. If you happen to stumble across anyone bearing this name-tag on his left chest, and if in such a good coincidence that you may be carrying any firearms, shoot him for mankind's sake.

Watching Helena over and over again, radio-ing to Westlife, the air drums are finally up and running... again. And slumping on the swivel chair, wondering why wouldn't anyone write something about "99 Reasons To Why Eujinn Should Die" in their blogs.

And then, I should be better off dead. Mind clouding thoughts about hate and loathe of the people revolving my everyday life. Its like a day resolution, you wake up in the morning and tell yourself that you'll be having people like these later in the day and how you should just get on with life. To tell yourself these people are merely just people in our lives are no bed of roses. Trust me. Its been this way for years now, and to hear other people trying to act rational, telling you to Do or Die, has never made things worse.

From the heart's point of view, If I didnt care about the deep, cold, feelings of others, I wouldve, couldve, shouldve, easily've dissed SO many people in this blog, this is making me sound like a wuss, but its better to be humble as they say. There are those things in life that can never be eradicated, its so fucking hard to tell people what you think nowadays, they'd just shun you away and maybe assure themselves by quietly claiming you're suffering from mass-paranoia. Its already so hard to express thoughts in blogs without offending people and "bruising their EGOS", let alone a decent face to face conversation. Fuck it.

Amazes me how I'm still blindly sitting here, attending to this blog which I so pussily dare not express all the shit I feel. I have stuff that a normal girl would have a 6 page essay in her journal just to scratch the surface of it, but hell, guys dont keep journals, thats why they have blogs, ONLINE journals, to write whatever shit we want to and tag it up for the whole fucking world to see. Usually, most guys WANT to let girls know what they think, and the girls, well,they try to hide their thoughts so much, it incinerates their lives. But then, there are some things in life that are better left unearthed, swept under the carpet, even if we dont want to, what else have we got to do?

A little insight of what I do nowadays, well, i find the shadiest areas, and I walk alone, take in the air and the clouds above, and think, why'd i get things i want, and why i dont get things i want, I curse the BIG guy up above for putting taunting obstacles in front of me, some may think I'm Schizophrenic, but yes, at times, no, but most of the times, everytime, I talk to myself, I ask myself questions about life, what is happening in the world around, I do get crude remarks when I'm in a complicated mood, I have people call me weird, diseased, freak, etc etc, hard to believe, yes I know, remarks that a normal guy with a bulging ego wouldve easily gone berserk, give that person a black eye, or threatened to jump off a cliff. But well, you cant change the opinions of others, what's said is said, its either you take it in and well, life goes on, or, you stick a .38 into your throat. Either way, its a bitter bitter pill to swallow.

We have no other choices have we?

Maybe these few days, I'll be burying my mind into biology or chemistry, or simply, just gazing into the sky, thinking that if humans were evolved from apes, why'd we have to change our minds from simple thinking, eat, sleep, fight, sex, monkey mentality to the hardcore mindset we all have now. Dammit, fuck... i mean, THANK YOU everyone I'd wanna diss so much in this blog for being such WONDERFUL friends!

Pardon me for all the harsh words Ive used, my post wouldnt be with so much passion if I didnt include anything like that. And I assure you for now, this is NOT a suicide note.
P.S. Julie, if you dont see me online this coming Flatter Night, then well, we'll have to wait for next monniversary yeah. Sorry.

Love,
Jinny

Digging and ruffling through the old photo albums and I stumbled across the classic of all pictures ever taken with dad's old Nikon.

Amazing it makes me wonder, why was I trying so hard to be like my sisters during that age. But all in all, my 2 ambitious sisters did a favour and a good job with everything. Ladies and gentlemen, a 6 year old, feminine, Eujinn. Enjoy.. -.-"

After 25 days together, countless gatherings, handful of meetings, hundreds of practices, a creditable amount of performances, mouthful of praises, one INTI title, a hefty amont of RM400 not used YET, and the honour of performing in front of a Menteri in KDU Malam Seni Berzaman. Puteri Santubong, has finally come to an end, but i wouldn't say end because it means it'll not happen anymore, so lets just say Puteri Santubong has finally come to a halt last night. After a near-perfect performance, it was no competition, but I'm sure that if it was, we wouldve bagged top prize again, looking at the auditorium erupting into a frenzy of applause was appealing enough.

Most of the time i think to myself, that its a sad sad thing that all things have to come to an end, especially the good good ones, one minute you're looking forward to it, the next, it all turns to memories. Although its been almost 9 months now, the expedition group spirit still runs endlessly in my veins. Till our next activity together guys! Thank you guys for all and PEACE!

Expedition group and Puteri Santubong group includes : May Vern, Jie Feng, Chee Yean, Audrey, Andrew, Kah Yang, Zi Yan, Michelle, Cze Wien, Siew Yen, Ee En, Momo, Brian, Vincent, Pat-Pat, Jun King, George, Chee Seong, Amakor, Beng-Beng, Myself, Samuel (didnt join us in the later parts anymore), Charles, Pn. Fari and En. Zol. Love ya'llllll!!

Its been one whole week since my last entry, and i'm more than glad to inform everyone that the holidays are finally over! It would be perfect if we'd not think of the upcoming exams, and to readers, if you feel that you've not done anything productive (or the Hated word we call *STUDY*), let me assure you whole-heartedly, that you have someone like me! Someone who is aware of the consequences of NOT studying and STILL NOT doing anything about it. Any of you read yesterday's Star Education? The article about our generation of students sitting for exams not to gain knowledge whatsoever, but merely to live up to peer, teacher, and parent's demands. I find it quite depressing reading an article such as this, having lived and still living through it, exams are merely to test one's skills and understanding in a certain subject, to know if that someone has learnt well of that subject, but well, I'm in 4 Bunga Raya, god knows how I got there, but its the 2nd Pure Science class in my school, and sure enough, when you're in a class like that, the majority of students are competing amongst each other, trying to outwit, trying to prove oneself that he or she is smarter than another. I may be saying this because I know, my status in class could be similiarised to Sunderland, or West Bromwich Albion in the English Premier League, in simpler, much understandable words, relegation contenders. But the BIG question is, What are we trying to prove with such attitude towards exams? I have seen people in my class, comparing papers, crying for not getting a perfect score, quietly assuring themselves that they aren't stupid by comparing marks. These are the sore-perfectionists as I call them.

And for some reason, I have been thinking alot about OBS (Outward Bound School) Lumut lately, my YAC course in December 2003. I can still remember the first day when we were required to surrender our luxury items, see new faces from different walks of life all anxiously waiting for the green light to carry our brim-packed haversacks to the dorms. It was then I found out that Gunung Ledang was one of the highest mountains in Malaysia, Ledang watch, which was my watch, shared the guys dorms with Kinabalu, and it so happened that my group, Group 1 consisted of 3 watches which was Ledang, Kinabalu and Camah, and we were quite known as the HAPPENING group. I can still remember very clearly, my gut feeling of homesickness when we were briefed about our to do's and not to do's during the whole course. All the memories of the expedition to the Dam and Pangkor Island, the early morning Negarakus, the notorious one hand monkey in Pangkor, our kayak formations, the final night barbecue, can still play freshly in my mind, the feeling of anxiety and shock everytime we dramatically open our dorm doors to find bed sheets strewn all over the place, rice grains scattered on the floor, tissues painted the toilet floors, the pungent smell of monkeys and their poo. Everytime we would come back to the dorm, be it an expedition, games down at the field, breakfast, lunch or dinner, we would go back to our dorms quite armed with our penknives and torchlights, preparing to strike at any monkeys caught red-handed. I know its been almost 2 years since it has passed, but right now, i would like to thank Ledang watch, my watch, Ben, Tyson, Keen Ho, Elephant, Shu Fei, Kim, Wai Kwan, Hunter, Min Huei, Sheau Shiuh, Alvin and Melissa for helping me during our solo camp (bet ya'll remember that!) Fanning me and giving me water and whistling for help, haha, we so woke up the other watches too! :p Thanks guys! (and a "BIG" thank you to Daniel Lim for ordering your watch to blow the emergency whistles too to confuse our CAs, -.-")

Alright, take a break from the past, yesterday, was my first time to KLPAC a.k.a KL Performing Arts Centre. Brad, you might think its unreasonable, but I paid (am going to pay Em) 32 bucks for the tickets when i couldve gone in for free a week ago. But pay or no pay, I can assurely tell you that its worth every dime and time spent. Romi and Joo Lee dan Lain-lain, cleverly twisted Malaysian version of Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet, with catchy scripts and very very Malaysian style of play, cannot fail to amuse and leave the audience in stitches. Rashid Salleh plays the muka tembok Romi and Nell Ng plays the cute, naive Joo Lee, the rest of the cast like Patrick Teoh, Gavin Yap, Llewyn Marsh and few more sit in to a wide variety of roles and characters from almost all of Shakespear's other plays. Half the time, these guys stole the show. Patrick Teoh cleverly joked that there were some people in the crowd who are really into theatre and there are those who are there just to impress people and show that they do have a little bit of culture in them. Well, I'm there because of both reasons. :) In the end, we were left to nurse our aching stomachs and give a few words of praise or signatures from the casts. Em was quite estatic she got Gavin Yap's signature. And me? I was left with a "god knows when it started" migraine and sulking to myself to why i didnt bring a camera.

Very well then, so much for a Monday night. Peace!

Isnt it funny? When the holiday season's here, all i can think of is going back to those 6.30 am wake-up call weekdays. Mum's been pestering me about preparing for the exams, which, in time, would make me very very irritated.

Glad to say anyway, that i have already finished my add maths project, thanks to john, jo lin, jean yi, melissa and ben for his residence, it took us a mere 2 hours to rap things up, and also thanks to them for NOT letting my add maths project go untouched throughout the whole holiday.

Yesterday, we celebrated dad's birthday in Shangri-La with family friends, nothing highlighted anyway except for the monstrous variety of food, basicly, there's everything! East to West. most notably, was the Penne in melted parmesan and the Tuna with white cream and caviar. We had few intervals for toilet and rejuvenation in between our 4 hour brunch cum tea, which would mean, we ate to our heart's delight.

Come to the thought of it, I've not trained since winning the MSSS inter-school relay and i'm pretty aware that MSSM is just round the corner, so, lets just hope i'll regain that training urge sooner than usual.

And lastly, anyone with plans for a movie? or lunch? or dinner? or Genting? please! please! add me in! :p
P.s. If i wasnt such a BAD planner, i wouldnt have typed the above... -.-"

Nervous-ness and butterflies, all for this.

Posted by Jinny

The reward for a tough run.

Posted by Jinny

A rainbow, symbol of never-ending dreams and magical hope. Taken this evening.

Posted by Jinny

A rainbow, possibly the most beautiful and most complete rainbow i've ever seen. Taken this evening during a slight drizzle. Simply breath-taking.

Posted by Jinny

After all the nervous-ness, butterflies flying inside, It pretty much paid off. Winning the MSS Selangor Inter School Relay 4x200m Form 4 Boys Category, this entitles me, i mean, us, to represent our school and our state of Selangor in the upcoming MSS Malaysia Inter School Relay Competition held in Kedah in September.

Apart from winning gold, we managed to set a new record of 1:38 in the 4x200m event, which is, pretty much of a BIG achievement. Watch out for Jordan's (or maybe OUR) picture in the papers these few days.

But well, not all things are perfect, and perfect would mean having the Form 2s to come with us to Kedah, according to a photo-finish, the guys missed out on gold by a NOSE! And the girls, well, they got silver but lets just say their race wasn't really too close to call. But if given a choice, i'd bring all of them to Kedah with us! The more the merrier!

This is it, MSS Selangor Inter-School Relay competition is tomorrow! Mentally prepared, physically, erm, for me, not so. Three odd seconds faster than last year's winning time, and then one of our runner is on the verge of pulling out.

Thank god, we are running as a full team as it is tomorrow and hopefully old injuries, and mishaps are to be forgotten, we are ever so determined to get this straight and end up representing Selangor for MSSM level in Langkawi, its not like we've never done it before, and that, we do stand a good chance in doing so again.

The only problem for me, is the issue of breakfast, well, as cheesy as it may sound, I've always had this problem about breakfast before competitions, its either i gobble a little too much, pop in the wrong stuff, or I end up not eating at all. Well, Its not like i've never tried Powerbars before, but i assure you, it only has 2 outcomes, melt in the heat of my bag half-eaten or kept in my refrigerator long enough to realise it has expired probably one and half years ago. I have since then, strived to find something edible, energy-fuelling, something carbohydrate-ic to savour before competitions.

And when Powergel comes into the mind, it could only be disrupted by the fact that Powergels are by far the most useless energy-providing substance known to mankind (probably to me only). Since introduced to me in 2003, i may never know how far has it work for me, but for all i DO know, I have by far, NEVER felt the effects of Powergel, to me, i guess its some useless gel which stimulates the mind to think that it has effects, sort of a psychological treatment. Lance Armstrong would never admit that and so does Nestle, and thats because its making hell lotta money from people who thinks that some stupid substance could win them a race. ( I WAS one of em)

I guess I've written long enough, now is the time to fill my stomach with butterflies and start nervous-ing about tomorrow's race(s). Bid ME and US luck! Peace!

The Meaningful & The Hated

Very often do we need inspiration to produce a quality post, but these are the days when inspiration doesnt flow like a swift river anymore. In fact, I can solemnly say nothing much inspires me anymore. The behaviour of others are most notably, ungratefulness, bias-ism, plus the ever-worsening haze. PJ is NOT a good place to live in right now, and im pretty sure it doesnt apply to PJ only, probably the whole world isnt a good place to live in!

I know that inside me, i have pages and pages to express, but i just feel that, although it is my blog, it's not right to mess around with the feelings of readers, coz you'll never know when you might just slip something out to offend them, so to me, my personal feelings, it's much much better to play safe.

Yesterday, i have this friend tell me 2 kinds of people in this world, the first kind, those who use their lives to listen to stories, and then there are those who use their lives to write a story. So she asked me which one was i, well, took me awhile to kinda figure it out, dig deep inside and ask myself, although its a simple question with simple explanations, its one of the most meaningful questions ive ever been asked, in the end, i told her, i'm the kind of person who's in between, I'm the kind of person who'll listen to other stories on the outside, and make my own inside. She told me to make my life story as interesting as possible, so i'll be able to look back at it one day and enjoy it. Makes alot of sense.

And then to end my night yesterday, i read this blog of a friend dissing someone on how fake, and phoney that person's been to my friend, in my opinion, when someone's really pissed off, their tongues seem to loosen, they say stuff solely just to hurt others, not knowing the destruction and consequences behind it all. And may i remind you my friend, that there are those things in life where you just use the "friendship glue" to paste it all up, and then there are those which are beyond repair.

Like i mentioned earlier, inspiration doesnt come cheap nowadays, these are the few things i've managed to scrape from the surface. Peace!

Dreams flying high..

After the last post, i've always had thoughts flickering in my mind constantly telling me " Eujinn! You've gotta blog this, you've gotta blog that" And now, when I'm here, working my fingers out on a post, it all dissolves away! Maybe its just not a time to write blogs, oh who knows!

Today, i had a short chat with Foo Kong in the car on the way to lunch, his rusty, worn out, creaky little erm, piece of steel, but even so, it seems that Foo Kong's been paying attention to the air-cons only, its works better than any other car i've been in and i guess it is the only part of the car well taken care of! No'fense! Well, he started off by bombarding me with questions, and somehow, we ended up talking about opportunities in pursue-ing a Pilot status.

Neither did i know that Foo Kong was actually training to be a pilot or something like that, in my mind i thought "wow this guy knows alot about planes", and he sure does, i can rather say he's been pretty successful in persuading me to give piloting a try, being the usual listener, he complained i was being too quiet (note: i drank sirap ais before training and puked it all out, so, to have an empty stomach, i knew i had every reason to feel exhausted and tired) so, i told him why i've never thought of being a pilot, it was quite amusing thinking back, me complaining about screwing up the plane's controls, or pressing the intercom instead of landing gear, or being the first person in the plane to pass out if there's a terrorist attack, or even not making it out of training alive.. Foo Kong then talked about the odds of being attack by a suicide bomber, or that the mechanicals in the plane are as easy as driving a car, lots more, but from what i know, he answered every doubt and every question, with convincing answers.

So guys, dont be surprised if you hear "Captain Chia" on the intercom on your next flight to Amsterdam or Bangladesh, and i assure you, I'll TRY to not be the first one to pass out if something does go wrong!