I'm misunderstood, i'm broken, i'm torn, i'm ripped. Whatever. We just had a quarrel. Me and my girlfriend. Not like we've never but it happened again. Probably more often now than except this time ended pretty bad(stop getting fucking excited). She's just not replying thats all. I know i'm fucked up. And i fucked up today bad. I thought at least add maths tuition went well today i didn't think of biting my teacher but then it had to, a series of unfortunate events.
I guess you really do deserve some time apart. You've earned it. I'm just a fucking bullshit trying to get attention and not earn. And you misunderstood my last message, it was never ever meant to be sarcastic or cold in any fucking way possible. God knows how the hell it ended up sending the wrong impression to you but i guess it was my fault for writing it that way. And yes i will still send messages to you even if you dont reply, for i know you're serious when you say you wont pick up my calls. I'm so pathetic i know, i've told you so many times and even though you denied it, i know at times you do think i am. And although i know that even some of my close friends are never really in support of me in this relationship anyway, i just hope we'd get over this stupid phase of insecurity.
But as for today, i think i've had enough. I've thrown myself into the grinder, it comes to a point when all you think about is to hate life. You got me, those who quietly want to see me fall in this relationship, those who do stuff, send messages, hanky panky behind my back, you think you'd get away but i guess its just wrong place wrong time, or rather wrong message wrong time. Well guess what, i'm down, i'm almost out, if you think of capitalising on that advantage then i'd say go for it. Those eagerly waiting for me to fall off the horse so they can swoop in on my damsel. You can try, but well, frankly i've had enough of hearing rubbish. Right gay boy john?
If i was keen chee with eyes behind my head, a package of guts, and a raging temper, i'd fuck you up. Stop waiting and start changing boy. Dont test our fidelities because its gonna land you in hot water. Big time.
Quote me if i'm mistaken, i'm more than open to hear your side of the story. If you have one.
Just had to.
Another post written in anger.
Jinny
Friday, October 27, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
That's a rap
Another of many BradJinn productions.
Check out the banner for this video below the links section, underneath pete teo.
Jinny
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Fever
Some parts of my family.
Financial support : Got
Religious support : Got
Life support : Got
Emotional support : Dont have
Self-confidence support : Dont have
Maybe its the way i'm brought up. Maybe its the way typical chinese families are brought up. Maybe its the way our parents have been brought up. People only talk about what they see in front of their eyes. They only see what they want to see, especially parents. They dont take the time to dwell deep into our emotions and minds and TRY to understand how we actually feel. Its like how they want us to study and get excellent results not knowing that sometimes it is also what we want but we tried and are still trying our best. They dont aknowledge effort. They aknowledge the result.
They put it in teen magazines about 10 problems teens face and all that shit but instead they should put it out for the parents to see and read and understand. It is at this stage that i'm fucking fed up of this household. Because there is so much violent nature i hear everyday especially what happens to my dog. My grandma and dad shouts all the time at my dog for peeing when it is only normal for male dogs to pee in order to mark teritories. Sometimes for just coming into the house. It also goes to us, kids who have been brought up with the cane. It will only instill fear not respect. That is something parents are so defiant to understand.
My mind is racing with so much thoughts and anger. Its hard to grasp topic by topic and type it out. The bottom line is, parents should not blame their kids like they always do when we're being rebellious but blame themselves for failing to bring authority down to nurture a good understanding with their kids especially teens. They always wait until its too late and they complain why teenage children dont relate to them as much as friends and then them trying to be friends with us is just freaky. And frankly, they nag and advice us thinking its for our own good but to me, its just getting irritating because i amachvasjkcvalicbklbctuc hb cjkubvcilaubgcoaicbauicvucykvaucyvchjba. fuck it.
Jinny
Financial support : Got
Religious support : Got
Life support : Got
Emotional support : Dont have
Self-confidence support : Dont have
Maybe its the way i'm brought up. Maybe its the way typical chinese families are brought up. Maybe its the way our parents have been brought up. People only talk about what they see in front of their eyes. They only see what they want to see, especially parents. They dont take the time to dwell deep into our emotions and minds and TRY to understand how we actually feel. Its like how they want us to study and get excellent results not knowing that sometimes it is also what we want but we tried and are still trying our best. They dont aknowledge effort. They aknowledge the result.
They put it in teen magazines about 10 problems teens face and all that shit but instead they should put it out for the parents to see and read and understand. It is at this stage that i'm fucking fed up of this household. Because there is so much violent nature i hear everyday especially what happens to my dog. My grandma and dad shouts all the time at my dog for peeing when it is only normal for male dogs to pee in order to mark teritories. Sometimes for just coming into the house. It also goes to us, kids who have been brought up with the cane. It will only instill fear not respect. That is something parents are so defiant to understand.
My mind is racing with so much thoughts and anger. Its hard to grasp topic by topic and type it out. The bottom line is, parents should not blame their kids like they always do when we're being rebellious but blame themselves for failing to bring authority down to nurture a good understanding with their kids especially teens. They always wait until its too late and they complain why teenage children dont relate to them as much as friends and then them trying to be friends with us is just freaky. And frankly, they nag and advice us thinking its for our own good but to me, its just getting irritating because i amachvasjkcvalicbklbctuc hb cjkubvcilaubgcoaicbauicvucykvaucyvchjba. fuck it.
Jinny
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Quinnox
With all my illegal activities. Like cruising around in my grey aeroback without a legit liscense.
My life feels like an extract from a storybook.
A storybook that might just end with mum and dad and grandma and che's words lingering in my conscience.
"We told you so."
Jinny
My life feels like an extract from a storybook.
A storybook that might just end with mum and dad and grandma and che's words lingering in my conscience.
"We told you so."
Jinny
X- ie cu ti ner Style
eu jinn and brad in a room , but i'm telling you rome wasnt built in a day. take everything from the inside and sex it up. we then came out and played but if our lives are for rent we shall say O encato do gantios! When mortal kombat came out back in the early 90's we were listening to QUEEN with a rap remix as ANOTHER one bites the dust. In eu jinn's mind there are fragments of freedom thatare familiar to merasa meraba the sugar ray portion of lil o' me! But as bob dylan said if not for you ( he said this to emelia ) , "when i look at this nickel plated photograph i see the "blowers" daughter" THen out of no where! OUT OF NOWHERE! RAY CHARLES ENTERS THE SCENE! singing LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLLLL BITCHES! But was interrupted by an alien mysterious "track number 13" Sensing that they actually had to get back to business, eu jinn and brad decided to stop mucking around and got back to the original case. "THE CASE OF THE MUSE".
AS they exited the sexually charged studio Banho Cheirsos, they encountered a nasty little midget by the name of Elvis Costello who sang about a new born hawk. Neither of them knew what happened next as Kurt CObain came and slaughtered Mr COstello with an aroused u-boat ( submarine ).
Time passed and their relationship grew ( the gay couple la not brad and jinn ) anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy they dived into the secret hideout of the evil Puffy.
As they disarmed and disposed of the "Hardest Button TO Button" guards and henchmen they noticed the magical artifact they came to retreive was on a canibal's crotch. SUmmoning all their magiKal spells, they called upon the great Guardian Force ; "John MAyer"
John used his amazing deep "wiley" ;) winks* and forced the cannibal to choose between JESUS OR A GUN .....( ok so john mayer was a gospel pusher fucktard....but he got the job done! )
SO the cannibal chosed to renounce his evil faith and accept jesus christ and his personal lord and saviour and passed the M2M m&m chocolates to Peter Pan who was bradjinn's ally......unfortunatly the day wasn;t over as the evil Mastermind Madonna tried to get away.....Not wanting madonna to cause more harm they unleashed their ultimate weapon upon her "THE BACKSTREET BOYS" who ripped off her pointy boobs and touched her like a virgin for the very first time.
AND SO THE DAY WAS SAVED AND BRAD AND JINN CELEBRATED BY DRINKING A VERY EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF FUEL............( they died ) cheers and thanks.
PS - Try a little tenderness
Peace out
Jah Bless
And finally remember the golden words of P. Ramli : "Punjabi MC! BEWARE OF THE BOYS GIRLS!)
Sasha "Bra Joe From Kilimanjaro" Cohen
AS they exited the sexually charged studio Banho Cheirsos, they encountered a nasty little midget by the name of Elvis Costello who sang about a new born hawk. Neither of them knew what happened next as Kurt CObain came and slaughtered Mr COstello with an aroused u-boat ( submarine ).
Time passed and their relationship grew ( the gay couple la not brad and jinn ) anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy they dived into the secret hideout of the evil Puffy.
As they disarmed and disposed of the "Hardest Button TO Button" guards and henchmen they noticed the magical artifact they came to retreive was on a canibal's crotch. SUmmoning all their magiKal spells, they called upon the great Guardian Force ; "John MAyer"
John used his amazing deep "wiley" ;) winks* and forced the cannibal to choose between JESUS OR A GUN .....( ok so john mayer was a gospel pusher fucktard....but he got the job done! )
SO the cannibal chosed to renounce his evil faith and accept jesus christ and his personal lord and saviour and passed the M2M m&m chocolates to Peter Pan who was bradjinn's ally......unfortunatly the day wasn;t over as the evil Mastermind Madonna tried to get away.....Not wanting madonna to cause more harm they unleashed their ultimate weapon upon her "THE BACKSTREET BOYS" who ripped off her pointy boobs and touched her like a virgin for the very first time.
AND SO THE DAY WAS SAVED AND BRAD AND JINN CELEBRATED BY DRINKING A VERY EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF FUEL............( they died ) cheers and thanks.
PS - Try a little tenderness
Peace out
Jah Bless
And finally remember the golden words of P. Ramli : "Punjabi MC! BEWARE OF THE BOYS GIRLS!)
Sasha "Bra Joe From Kilimanjaro" Cohen
Monday, October 16, 2006
Gallantry
Eujinn's smart, but he's lazy.
I've got that for years now. And to ponder upon it, its sounds better like.
Eujinn's lazy, but he's smart.
My mind is slowly disintegrating. I can feel the knowledge sucked out of my head day by day. I want to write, but i cant think of anything to write. On sunday i had this long emo post, then yesterday i had a philosophical one, today, i've got rubbish.
Hey, you ever realised that we grow into our names? I mean, you can actually guess people's names by the way they look. I remember the first time i met cj, fellow rock climber and something something manager(was it?) at corezone in ss2, i told myself that he looks like a joo. Not jew, joo. Somebody who looks like he has a JOO in his name. Well not dead sure he looked like a joo la, because he also looked like a james. But certainly not greg or johnson because those names are only reserved for either pint sized midgets or walking muscles. Then one day i saw his full name on the camp 5 registry and i was damn right. Tan Chiew Joo. He had a JOO in his name. You know what i mean?
Just think to yourself, what is the first impression of a person called paul or albert or dick? Paul to me, gives me an impression of a gentle giant. Possibly a computer illiterate with huge marsupian eyes and a hooked nose. Albert to me looks like a turtle-neck wearing buff, with thick rimmed glasses and side-parting. Dick, well, a dickhead.
Dont think that i'm all sexist-y here and neglecting the importance of womenfolk in my discussion. You girls, like us guys, like all humans, look like your names! Gretchen is your average librarian. Emily and matilda suits little pixie statured girls with shoulder lenght hair, sarah, is everywhere!
You do think everything that i've wrote so far has no basis and is senseless, come on, i know you do. Because i've got everybody comparing their looks to other names already. I know i know, you think many other "beautiful" names can also suit the way you look. You think because of your elegance, you can also be named elizabeth, or you're smart enough to be called isaac, newton, einstein, whatever. You think that hey, my friend's eujinn, i can also see him as a kim sai, or a beng tat, or bernoulli, anything, but one thing i will not tolerate is IRWIN. Imagine how i'd end up if my mum went ahead in naming me irwin? I imagine a me, dragging my feet to school with an English Dictionary of Idio(t)ms, with a swan trolley schoolbag.
Why are we discussing about names anyway?! Who's the bastard who started it?!
Jinny
I've got that for years now. And to ponder upon it, its sounds better like.
Eujinn's lazy, but he's smart.
My mind is slowly disintegrating. I can feel the knowledge sucked out of my head day by day. I want to write, but i cant think of anything to write. On sunday i had this long emo post, then yesterday i had a philosophical one, today, i've got rubbish.
Hey, you ever realised that we grow into our names? I mean, you can actually guess people's names by the way they look. I remember the first time i met cj, fellow rock climber and something something manager(was it?) at corezone in ss2, i told myself that he looks like a joo. Not jew, joo. Somebody who looks like he has a JOO in his name. Well not dead sure he looked like a joo la, because he also looked like a james. But certainly not greg or johnson because those names are only reserved for either pint sized midgets or walking muscles. Then one day i saw his full name on the camp 5 registry and i was damn right. Tan Chiew Joo. He had a JOO in his name. You know what i mean?
Just think to yourself, what is the first impression of a person called paul or albert or dick? Paul to me, gives me an impression of a gentle giant. Possibly a computer illiterate with huge marsupian eyes and a hooked nose. Albert to me looks like a turtle-neck wearing buff, with thick rimmed glasses and side-parting. Dick, well, a dickhead.
Dont think that i'm all sexist-y here and neglecting the importance of womenfolk in my discussion. You girls, like us guys, like all humans, look like your names! Gretchen is your average librarian. Emily and matilda suits little pixie statured girls with shoulder lenght hair, sarah, is everywhere!
You do think everything that i've wrote so far has no basis and is senseless, come on, i know you do. Because i've got everybody comparing their looks to other names already. I know i know, you think many other "beautiful" names can also suit the way you look. You think because of your elegance, you can also be named elizabeth, or you're smart enough to be called isaac, newton, einstein, whatever. You think that hey, my friend's eujinn, i can also see him as a kim sai, or a beng tat, or bernoulli, anything, but one thing i will not tolerate is IRWIN. Imagine how i'd end up if my mum went ahead in naming me irwin? I imagine a me, dragging my feet to school with an English Dictionary of Idio(t)ms, with a swan trolley schoolbag.
Why are we discussing about names anyway?! Who's the bastard who started it?!
Jinny
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
The quiet screaming alright
I blog best when i blog between my sub-conscious mind under a showerhead. Days are numbered and there is so much left to do. It's so taxing on the mind, body and soul to pick that book up and ignite your study momentum. I was just talking about it today, 41 days right? A month and half doesnt really sound that awful, but 4 cycles of 10 days, 5 weeks? That's dreadful to my earhole. :(
Considering the amount that is left to be done is tremendous and i'm still jollying around like i'm high on glucose. I'll never catch that ship. Or lest i assume i cant anymore. Mum, you cant put me on house arrest, there's the tv, there's the computer, there's the bed, i'll go to the library. Turns out the library isnt really that remedy that i was seeking for. But i'll still subject myself to the library, because i am conscious of my main purpose to be there which is to get some work done and restrain from the temptations back home.
The last sentence sounded like i'm being seduced back home. Ooh, temptations.
You see, i'm forcing myself to blog again when i dont even have much to say. Its a form of stress on its own. Blogger Stress. You see other people updating and writing and ranting and all that, then you go back to your own blog and see that your previous post is oxidating turning brown and all and you wanna blog just like everyone else. Sorta like peer pressure.
And now i'm here with my fingers dancing around my keyboard oblivious to my cereal box waiting to be opened downstairs. Today's my 3rd time having shepherd's pie at ms read without remembering i tasted the same thing twice.
I dont get it.
Jinny
Considering the amount that is left to be done is tremendous and i'm still jollying around like i'm high on glucose. I'll never catch that ship. Or lest i assume i cant anymore. Mum, you cant put me on house arrest, there's the tv, there's the computer, there's the bed, i'll go to the library. Turns out the library isnt really that remedy that i was seeking for. But i'll still subject myself to the library, because i am conscious of my main purpose to be there which is to get some work done and restrain from the temptations back home.
The last sentence sounded like i'm being seduced back home. Ooh, temptations.
You see, i'm forcing myself to blog again when i dont even have much to say. Its a form of stress on its own. Blogger Stress. You see other people updating and writing and ranting and all that, then you go back to your own blog and see that your previous post is oxidating turning brown and all and you wanna blog just like everyone else. Sorta like peer pressure.
And now i'm here with my fingers dancing around my keyboard oblivious to my cereal box waiting to be opened downstairs. Today's my 3rd time having shepherd's pie at ms read without remembering i tasted the same thing twice.
I dont get it.
Jinny
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Inspiration eelek
Okay so maybe i have anxiety and frustration taking the wheel in my life, and i did jump into the pool on friday night with only my jeans on. Its getting harder and harder to ignore msn nicknames wearing reminders that the big exams are only about 2 months away, oblivious to how much head-banging and wall-punching reactions it brings to people like me who cant help but catch a glimpse of it even if i dont want to.
And for an uncanny reason, my pyjamas smells like green grass oil (cheh chau eu), is someone trying to poison(but is failing miserably) me? Although it is organic and edible. Or maybe its the smell of expired naftalene balls.
Paranoia, i wish i could eradicate. Besides, naftalene balls are so yesteryear.
Subjecting myself to writing without inspiration is suicidal, nothing makes sense. My mind is hovering about in my room while my fingers are tapping the keys rhythmically. The probable purpose of this post as i can think of is to finally put ambi mohan under wraps, you see, blog posts are like powerbars, when you first publish, there's a buzz and lots of activity revolving around it, then if you leave it there in the fridge for a little longer than usual, it starts to harden, then it dehydrates, this is the point where no one wants a bite anymore, then it expires and all blog hoppers would come to your blog, see a stale post and move along. Which is why it is vital to update from time to time even if you write jackshit like me.
I have an issue with supercab however. I wouldn't hesitate to write in to any daily paper willing to read another ever growing list of cabby complains. Normal rate charges from ss2 to OU is about 6 to 7 bucks everyone knows that, and i'm sure alot more public transport consumers are still left in the dark about some cabby rules like if you dont tell the cabby earlier that you and your friend are dropping off at 2 different places, he has a cabby right to charge an extra 2 bucks if he wants to exercise it. I've sat countless taxis and have encountered equally countless drivers, from bob marley drunkard to royal family driver material, and i'm sure that the extra 2 buck rule is a whole load of fuck because if it does apply, then most drivers are either too kind to young men like me or they have amnesia. Because when it comes to money, everyone wants to get extra. Yesterday my and brad's taxi ride from OU back home costed 10 freaking holy ringgits, because some stupid pizza faced cabby said it was disrespectful to not tell him earlier that we're going to 2 different stops. Which means i've been rather disrespectful to a whole bunch of other cabbies and they're too stupid to stand their ground. And just because its the puasa month doesnt mean taxi drivers have an invinsible excuse to ooze more money out of passengers by using the respect reason. If it was 6.45 then maybe i can understand that he's rushing home to buka puasa and then he can talk about respect to me, but i remembered his illuminating green clock saying it was 6. And menfolk dont cook unless you're chef wan. Aih, stupid.
I was searching high and low in the taxi for his identification and the registration number but i couldn't find nuts. I was so pissed i even forgot to record his number plate. But i can aptly describe his interior, i'm gonna write a complaint saying i dont have his number but he had his passenger seat slanted backwards to see oncoming traffic on the left because his 4 windows are almost filled to the brim with bloody stickers of the events he's been to. "Program Usahawan 2005, Equatorial Hotel, Puchong", "Japan GT Grand Prix 2006", and he has copies of the same stickers all over. He doesnt stop at junctions because he cant see whats coming on the left, and he drives like alex yoong on a bad hair day. Oh and his meter is tampered for raya, i suspect.
Actually i'm just pissed because i had to fish out my 10 ringgit note so majestically sitting in my wallet. Now i'm kinda broke.
And i really really want to eat seeham, lok-lok style.
Jinny
And for an uncanny reason, my pyjamas smells like green grass oil (cheh chau eu), is someone trying to poison(but is failing miserably) me? Although it is organic and edible. Or maybe its the smell of expired naftalene balls.
Paranoia, i wish i could eradicate. Besides, naftalene balls are so yesteryear.
Subjecting myself to writing without inspiration is suicidal, nothing makes sense. My mind is hovering about in my room while my fingers are tapping the keys rhythmically. The probable purpose of this post as i can think of is to finally put ambi mohan under wraps, you see, blog posts are like powerbars, when you first publish, there's a buzz and lots of activity revolving around it, then if you leave it there in the fridge for a little longer than usual, it starts to harden, then it dehydrates, this is the point where no one wants a bite anymore, then it expires and all blog hoppers would come to your blog, see a stale post and move along. Which is why it is vital to update from time to time even if you write jackshit like me.
I have an issue with supercab however. I wouldn't hesitate to write in to any daily paper willing to read another ever growing list of cabby complains. Normal rate charges from ss2 to OU is about 6 to 7 bucks everyone knows that, and i'm sure alot more public transport consumers are still left in the dark about some cabby rules like if you dont tell the cabby earlier that you and your friend are dropping off at 2 different places, he has a cabby right to charge an extra 2 bucks if he wants to exercise it. I've sat countless taxis and have encountered equally countless drivers, from bob marley drunkard to royal family driver material, and i'm sure that the extra 2 buck rule is a whole load of fuck because if it does apply, then most drivers are either too kind to young men like me or they have amnesia. Because when it comes to money, everyone wants to get extra. Yesterday my and brad's taxi ride from OU back home costed 10 freaking holy ringgits, because some stupid pizza faced cabby said it was disrespectful to not tell him earlier that we're going to 2 different stops. Which means i've been rather disrespectful to a whole bunch of other cabbies and they're too stupid to stand their ground. And just because its the puasa month doesnt mean taxi drivers have an invinsible excuse to ooze more money out of passengers by using the respect reason. If it was 6.45 then maybe i can understand that he's rushing home to buka puasa and then he can talk about respect to me, but i remembered his illuminating green clock saying it was 6. And menfolk dont cook unless you're chef wan. Aih, stupid.
I was searching high and low in the taxi for his identification and the registration number but i couldn't find nuts. I was so pissed i even forgot to record his number plate. But i can aptly describe his interior, i'm gonna write a complaint saying i dont have his number but he had his passenger seat slanted backwards to see oncoming traffic on the left because his 4 windows are almost filled to the brim with bloody stickers of the events he's been to. "Program Usahawan 2005, Equatorial Hotel, Puchong", "Japan GT Grand Prix 2006", and he has copies of the same stickers all over. He doesnt stop at junctions because he cant see whats coming on the left, and he drives like alex yoong on a bad hair day. Oh and his meter is tampered for raya, i suspect.
Actually i'm just pissed because i had to fish out my 10 ringgit note so majestically sitting in my wallet. Now i'm kinda broke.
And i really really want to eat seeham, lok-lok style.
Jinny
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