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Picture this, me, sitting at the dining table, my grandmother on my left, my great grandmother on my right, both watching me and my pizza, and i mean literally watching..

A few issues have been brought to mind these few days, firstly about the blog spamming, i feel its a real tragedy to be having someone posting negative comments about you and your friends, especially on chatterboxes and stuff.. i mean, its disgraceful, but not to the person who manages the blog, it is to the person who's posting all these comments with an anonymous profile, xr, constantly a victim of blog spamming, and i had it once before, but i dont take it seriously, because if that anonymous wants me to know how much of a negativity i am, i dont see why profiles need to be kept un-shown.. so, i usually take stuff like as pinches of salt, i mean why get worked up over it, if anonymous doesnt respect you and the site you share your thoughts and experiences with, then why respect anonymous and his comments? right?

My great-grandma is currently residing in my house again after being discharged from UH, and as unbelievable as it seems, she has becomed more lively, she talks more, she tells amusing stories about her "journeys" to weird places, she walks without much help and she eats more! im guessing the sodium and glucose mixed in her drips at the hospital. Dad was telling me the other day, when she fainted, she didnt practically faint, she was erm, kinda on her way to you know.. death, dad said when he saw her feet were pointing downwards instead of the normal sleeping position we usually aquire where our toes point upwards, toes pointing downwards when someone is "sleeping" are dues to muscle stiffness (theres a name for it, i totally forgot!) which can only happen, when someone is no more... alive... so dad said he gave himself 2 choices, its either great-grandma passes away right here on the bed of our maid's room, or she get sent immediately to the hospital and hopefully with MUCH luck, be saved, well.. the desicion was obvious and who couldve imagine how lively she could be after being discharged! If great-grandma was back in Muar last Tuesday, she couldve slipped into the endless process most widely labelled as Death.

Speaking about death, my g-grandma issue has gotten me thinking alot about the definition and meanings beyond words about death. where do we go after we're gone? i think i might be the only teenager to think so deeply into the foul, forbidden and unlucky thing called death. could death be like a dream, that when you're dead, you wake up again in a time and place as if you were sleeping and then you live your life, and then you die again, and the process goes on and on.. these are some things we'll never know.. probably because no one has ever experienced it fully and told us how it is.. so to know it is like a one way experiment, my thoughts and hypothesis about this issue in my head are waaayy more complicating than words can describe, no matter how much i soo wanna spill it out, its almost impossible to translate thoughts into words, especially on issues like this, imagine, someone or something with a life, that can move, communicate, talk, and then without warning, become something lifeless which can no longer move, nor talk.. its scary at the thought of it, but it is almost impossible to be shunned away from it in the walk of life, its just something we've got to accept, unexpectedly or not, shocking or not... as i said, its hard to understand words extracted from the mind.. p.s. im NOT thinking suicidal!!...

I just realised this could be my longest ever blog post, actually ive been planning this over pizza and lasagne at the dining table with my 2 grannies.. erm.. watching..

p.s. to anyone who has posted unruly comments on people's blogs and reading this, you should be really really ashamed of yourself!! you're probably jealous because we all have blogs and you dont! oh btw, u can try making one for yourself! its easy.. theres blogspot, xanga, blogdrive, freewebs, erm.. lots more which i cant really remember! but i suggest blogspot, cause im using it! haha.. and you can add those lil chatterboxes on your page so others can post idiotic insults and comments about you on it!! ya knoe what i mean raaaiigghhtt?? ;)

prepare for the worst, hope for the best....

I came home from school today to realize there wasnt any food on the dining table, only to find out that my great-grandmother who had been residing in my house for the past 1 week had been admitted into the emergency ward at UH.

being 90+, she wasnt looking really good the past few days, and her legs were constantly trembling, her auditory organs werent functioning well and she would usually stare blankly into thin air and at times, start talking to grandma bout her old past.. she even talks about her usual lifestyle when she was younger in the 1990s and that she wants to go home and pick buahs behind her wooden house back in Tangkak, Muar which she shifted away from 4 years ago..

this morning, my maid found her trembling again when she got off her bed and when grandma came home from the market with her breakfast, only to find her unconscious on the living room chair.. my grandma, in an obvious state of shock and fear, began panicking, which brought the attention of my dad, sister, and then.. of course, our neighbour..

Sadhu, thank god she's conscious now and taking in drips..
Prepare for the worst, Hope for the best...

there julie! there's us in our costumes... err.. i dun think u can see me clearly, im behind pn fatimah and pn fari... :p 

.......

sigh, everytime i wanna write about something, it just keeps disappearing in my head! ill try and dig it out though, for the sake of fulfilling the purpose of this blog as a blog and not solely on a chatterbox

First of all, i would like to remind myself and everyone in tmn sea who actually reads my blog that our mid-term examinations are just round the corner and i dunno if all of you are actually making an effort in preparing, for all i know, im the lazy, anti-books, computer-addict as always

tmn sea had our Temasya Sukan ke-29 last Saturday and from what i see, it wasnt as good a turnout as the years before, but this was the first time we held an invitational relay event where other schools would come and compete in for a small, half-palm sized medal, sadly only 3 schools came out of the god knows how many schools invited, our school formed teams A and B just to add the extra challenge in it
i collected 5 medals altogether and in addition to that, rumah hijau won overall champions AND the best house booth decoration, we missed out on the marching award which we highly expected to have won but well, gotta give the other houses a chance :P

and today was our HM's retirement day, it was sad that she had to retire so soon being 55 and above but im sure everyone wished she couldve stayed on much longer. we had our usual monday perhimpunan except this time, we pardoned the unpunctual students, just for the occasion. everyone moved to the hall right after the perhimpunan and as for me, i got changed in the bilik jahitan with my fellow half-naked (top and bottom) expedition dance members. i guess it was worth it though, our dance was labelled the best dance ever in the history of smk tmn sea, god knoes how far is it true, but the teachers were all asking lots of funny questions and stuff like where'd we get all our costumes and how' we get the bamboos, well basicly my part of the dance was being the bamboo bearer and we had to wear tight-fitting baju-melayus and a sarong or wtv u call it lah. and our dance was entitled Puteri Santubong, some princess jaga-ing the gunung in Sarawak, our expedition team actually when to the cultural village located right at the foot of the mountain, so i guess the inspiration pretty much spurns from there on..

i keep telling myself im supposed to write about my experiences about coincidences yesterday, but im just too errr malas ler.. btw dad's home with supper.. and i was going to stop writing anyways...

Mis días se numeran y la vida es trágico..

Mainly because time isnt on my side, ive decided revert to point forms:
My summary of the last half of March and my much suffered beginning of April:

• Its been long since i updated
• Ive been really really lazy and procrastination seems to be my second nature
• Ive NOT done 5 weeks of 3 Spm add maths papers
• I still DO NOT have a mod maths book D
• I just started my moral note book today
• I ALMOST strangled my dog
• 3 days of prefect motivational camp was like a silly boot camp
• nevertheless, i learned much
• our camp commander was way heartless and bitchy beyond anybody's comprehension
• the whole prefectorial board did 50 push-ups for punishment on Saturday night
• and another 20 the next day
• I already won 2 silver medals in 3000m, 4x400m during saringan
• i have "Do your add maths!! >:-( " written on a Post-it below my screen
• I loooovveeee that orange band
• I trimmed my hair
• Im aiming for the Best Prefect Award which i highly doubt ill get it
• Im in this Traditional orang asli dance for Pn.Fatimah's retirement
• I managed to finish a Jumbo Can +40g of Grilled Shrimp and Pepper Pringles in 20 mins
• Kinder Bueno raawwwkkkssss!
• Cash Converters sold out all their drum sets
• Im getting fatter by the minute
• I plan to start Karate again this Saturday
• ............................. to Pope John Paul II
• ............................. to victims of earthquakes
• ............................. -.-" to super volcanoes
• I broke my own record of stuffing 15 Wrigleys into my mouth at the same time
• Simple Plan DOES speak good english
• back-tracking, our final drama performance was screwed up
• the soundtrack didnt play on cue for the first time, how ironic is that??!
• I finally got my prefect's badge fixed
• I still love my Zildjian drumsticks
• Marche Movenpick is one of the most unreasonably priced restaurants
• I found a Mini UK4AA diving light during Kembara orientation
• Pete Teo is the best singer/songwriter ive ever heard in the M'sian music industry
• his album Rustic Living for Urbanites is no doubt as good as he is in person
• I slept through 2 periods of add maths today!
• I do feel that ive wasted my whole Monday.......

Oh well, i guess id better go do something bout my Monday....