Dear God, sometimes i wish i could just slit my own wrists without worrying about anything else. Watch the blood trickle down my arms. Anticipating the part where my vision just blurs, my breathing to get heavier, and heavier, and heavier, and in the end, everything just turns black. So i JUST DONT HAVE TO FACE MY WORLD.

I'm just surrounded by people who seem to hurt me every little day, feeling helpless, that you cant do anything about it unless you're into commiting murder just to exterminate the people you hate. The feeling just breaks you down, you look at the people you hate move about, enjoying life till the outer limits. I dont entirely blame those i hate, the people around giving respect, and attention and all, makes me even more frustrated. What do i do? I've slammed my fists on tables, cupboards, chairs. Yes i know, it sounds like i've got a serious personal problem. Fuck it, its been like this since ever. Friends telling you they really care when most of them just couldn't give a fuck at all! Why yes, the kind assuring words of others do seem like sweet music to the ears, but behind it all, behind it all... It just gets more fucked up as my life wastes away.

As much as i can prove my urging wishes of cutting my wrists or slitting my throat, I might have comed up with probably the stupidest sounding yet fucking true thing. Everyone loves BIG flirts dont we? Girls i know do, guys i know do too. I guess, most of the time, you've gotta flirt like a butterfly to the blindest of blind people to get somewhere. Dont prove me wrong, cause those who do, I'll prove them wrong too.

At least dad just lectured me for my results, in a quite subtle way, he managed to relax things abit although I'm still gushing with gothic thoughts of murder and suicide. Sometimes i'd just wonder, why am i placed here, in this land, with so many infidels and idiots around me, i'd happily give up anything, anything at all to get myself to a new environment, be it more problematic than the one im facing now, i dont care, i just need to get away. No wait, i WANT to get away!

If you think this blog is turning into a mad-drag black gothic suicidal depressing cooking pot, you have either 2 choices, continue looking forward to my posts, or just delete this url off your links, or address books or just clear out your whole history of sites and never remember this url ever ever again. I seriously recommend deleting this add to those who cant stand swearing or cuss words, or to those who feel offended, or even those who live their lives without thinking about anyone else. Ooh, and self-proclaimed casanovas and holy people, this i BEG you to NOT read my blog at all!

Im quite convinced after this post, my blog would just turn into a ghost town, its okay though. I'll read my posts alone. :)

If conditions do not improve, those who choose to stay would have more interesting-cum-depressing reads to come if i can find the right "inspiration". Oh and fuck those who i've indirectly mentioned in this blog, i hope you know who you are.

Sour Love,
Jinny