I'm a shithead thats for sure.

Let me tell you guys honestly. The whole low-carbo hoo-ha diet thing is REAL. I do assure you however, that i might be as serious as ever about this diet for maybe a week or so, and after that, you can count that its all just absolute bollocks.

The night market outing just now was such a good example. I know, and i'm fully aware that i'm on a strict low-carbo diet and i have more or less another 3 months to cut my weight down to 65kg which to some hardcore bulimic aneroxic supermodels, is as easy as bringing your aunty's dog for a stroll in the park. But what i noticed about myself today in pasar malam was not the serious dieting eujinn that was yesterday. I felt more like the appeton skeleton kid who got forced to eat chicken drumsticks and a bottle of appeton every half month or so. The main thing is i feel more like a undisputed sumo wrestler defending my title than the eujinn who's determined to lose 6kg in a laughable 3 months.

This clearly shows the bloody self control i actually have. I mean, i'm not restricting myself to food. Its just that i need some self control around here. I see a truck selling ice blended mango and i'm like george best in a whorehouse. I see sticks after sticks of sea-hams (or humps as jo calls em) in the lok-lok stall, i lose myself in the mercury and iron. The worst part is the takoyaki. Mayonaised covered octopus balls. And right now, i can still console myself telling me i have another styrofoam box of takoyakis sitting in my refrigerator. I cant help it. Food is good.

I know some of you maybe like wtf? Since i cant hold myself at all, why go for the diet at all? I can try but i cant tell you why i'm actually making such a big fuss outta this. I dont claim to be fat. I claim to be heavy. There's a glaring difference. To me, its not the slim figure or whatever shit Marie France promotes that matters, its the weight, the number on the scale. 65kg or i'll end up a light-out in athletics AGAIN.

I'm not self-conscious and i dont admire my own body in reflections or mirrors like some do. I just dont wanna end up like................................................................................................

.....................

......................

......................

"FOOORRKK!! NOT the FAT BASTARD!!!"

Jinny