What if i wanted to break? Laugh it all off in your face

No quotes because i've not mouthed anything smart or significant during the build up to this post.

Mid term results came in yesterday. Christened me with a 2 hour session of blatant mother to son lecture. Facing mum on some terribly uncomfortable coffee chair yesterday was the tightest slap i've got since i spat words back at her long before i reached puberty. And i dont know, maybe you're discreet and reading my blog without being over-obvious, but dad, i am hiding my results from you.

As much as i hate a talking to. Now my mother knows where the hell i go in the late hours and why. Accustomed herself to my tendency to make empty promises. And firmly lodged in my head is when to say no, and yes.

And then dad, something you shouldn't know is that i drove to port dickson. With 2 girls. We overnighted in a resort. So maybe if you're really reading this, you'd probably be furious. Its hard to relate to you sometimes, and i'm guessing its our family upbringing. Its not that you're not important, its just so fucking much easier to talk and express to mum. Its tough to peck you on the cheeks without feeling self-conscious, heck, its hard to even say good night to you, let alone an apology text message.

And now with oscar long gone. I dont know if we'll even see him again.

Nobody seems to really care.

Beach holiday was different. I now know my way in and out of port dickson like the back of my hand. I know where bayu beach resort is, where most of the haunted spots are, the most cursed road, new market, lighthouse, almost everything i should familiarise with and suddenly its not the size of camp 5 anymore.

Thanks to ah girl(shuyi) and ah boy(leroy) who met up with me, xr and chucs for dinner after our sunbathing attempt. They led us to seafood. Then the lighthouse. Was an accomplishment for chucs who'd claim its the most adventurous trip she's been in. Had an evening walk up a jungle road in pitch black conditions and i surprised myself for not feeling any fear whatsoever. The panting and sweat was worth it though, because just the mere thought of being alone so high up at the lighthouse coupled with the sea breeze can be euphoric. Sorta like a faraway, minus you. Took up a few cancer sticks due to daddy issues while listening to boy's emosong classics. Made the treacherous journey down through scary pitch black road to the car after almost 3 hours up and got back to the resort to sit by the beach. With kampais and arnotts in hand, gradually freaked ourselves out with scary stories. Briskwalked from beach to car to mamak for another round of stories, supposedly less-frightening with presence of light and people. Ended up sleeping with lights on.

Weouw. Its difficult to blog in the manner which i just did.

I'll do better with pictures.

From this trip, my car's finally got an identity, an anatomy, and chastity. I requested a name that'll invoke the feeling of abuse towards it. Something that'll make people just wanna dent and bruise. Suzy.

And oh baby. You're back. :)

Jinny