A week long hiatus, growing a despise for the way i write.

Thats right, as you all know, i've lost my writing streak and god knows when it'll be till this drought is over. Probably due to my undivided schedule that i didnt have the time needed to splash out on a new post. Or maybe i just didnt have anything to write at all. Just like now.

I've not been spared of sufferings these few days. Suffering means 5 very-much-still-aggrevating ulcers on my upper lips and tongue which will be categorized into the physical suffering department, and a mindful of unfinished tasks like the kelab kembara cameron highlands camp that still hasnt got its first meeting with me being the camp commander and butterflies in my stomach since saturday about the relay runs tomorrow and wednesday that has been plaguerizing me mercilessly. This is the mental state of suffering.

We just simply hate ulcers. Dont we? From common mouth ulcers to the more excruciating stomach ulcers, everything that has it U.L.C.E.R just brings nothing but agony and your ability to have a decent meal. You cant even sleep peacefully with saliva literally flowing through the 2 streams on the sides of your mouth everytime you loll your head from side to side. Although the ulcers that have come to live with me are playing a crucial part in preventing me from indulging in the overly fried, it also momentarily stops my constant habit of licking my lips, thus drying my lips into a crusty peely surface and spurs me on to peel it. Whatever it does conditionally or unconditionally, an ulcer is an enemy. Plus an ulcer on your tongue, is like the occasional door-to-door salesperson who finds amusement in tinkling on your automatic gate with his pen without ever noticing the doorbell. Bloody annoying.

As much as i want to stay away from the subject of athletics, zon mssd petaling started today and will drag on for another 2 days. Its basicly like the qualifying round for the finals at the end of March. Everybody, whether you're in proportion or not will take part and the top few timings or distances in other event's cases will qualify for mssd petaling. As for my event, i've been like a nomad for the past 3 years now, never really settling into a distinct event (pet event) for myself and never ever had my own individual medal for the district level. So being (probably) my last year as a school athlete, every event that i have taken part in has been mish-mashed into ONE. Heptathlon.

Heptathlon is a combination of 7 events that basicly covers every possibly aspect of an athlete. Stamina, skill, speed, strenght and agility. The 7 events are 110m hurdles, 400m, 1500m, high jump, long jump, shotputt and javelin throw. It is mainly an all-rounder event and a person who initiates the events is a heptathlete or more-notably an iron man.

At the rate i'm going now in training and from where i stand, i think i'm not even near aluminium man lah.

Thank god i have another month or so because heptathlon doesnt require one to qualify for it, that means heptathletes go straight to district level. Which gives me enough time to work my way along the Series of Electrochemistry Reaction (siri kereaktifan elektrokimia) all the way to ferum.

As for tomorrow, its only relay events, but everytime i think about a race, there's always a jitter. I've been in probably enough competitions to not feel this way already but without fail, it always always happens. The feeling of nervousness is overwhelming and the little little butterflies churning and dancing around in your tummy. No doubt it hampers and disrupts my concentration during warm-up, and like a chain reaction, it tags along with me when i reach the tracks. My body tells my mind "fuck you, i aint moving, i aint runnin", then your body turns cold, you lose the build up and your leg stiffens. Everything turns ape-shit until the point when your mind shoots back at your body "fuck you now, you have no choice but move", then you really dont have a choice but to just run. I've always hated the feeling. Which explains my pale, no-nonsense face before any race.

Whatever butteflies flying, lets just hope all goes well for me tomorrow and on wednesday.

Sadly, i've written so much more to this post about two sides of mosquitoes until my IE hanged and the "recover post" only saved half of everything. So i guess the moquito post another day then. :)

Jinny