Friday, July 20, 2007

Hold on tightly, let go lightly

"Baby, if you look like death, then i'm necrophilic."

(Only because its on the top of my head right now.)

Was feeling really gutted all the way in college today because some bloody things just stay in your ass. All the pent-up frustration. Had my fist clenched. And muscles tightening. That wanting feeling to punch someone random.

One of these days. When my stomach does cockscrews and mind unleashes an impulse of rapid anger movement. I will wreck destruction, and condemn myself to more intense pressure and hatred towards. But at least i think i'll get my satisfaction.

Coming home, i get online and see myself to more of those 'insignificant' feelings. The brainchild of my constant paranoia. But feeling what my mind and body tells me to feel, dispells the notion of being paranoid. Paranoia stems from assumption, but when everything's in real-time and happening, there's no need for assuming.

Some certain people loathe me for doing something they assume i did. Or that i'm not suffering in the same moat as they are. Something i'd accomplished from my own (whateversleft) courage and self-confidence to pick myself up from a ravine and campus my way up to the top again. I've done my part to patch and be normal. Bless you, but what is it about me that you're against again?

I'd go on. If not for to save readers from another barrage of self-explainatory ranting and assaults on you, you, and more you(s).

Made the attempt to escape and unwind after break today by skipping LAN and chemistry with baby to toy with the manuals of her peugeot. Zoomed down to batu caves, to the kl city center, to utama, to ampang, and kepong and along the federal highway and other speed-prone freeways around. And thankfully made it back on time for biology. Destressed with aimless driving and accelerated euphoria.

Okay, its lovely bones time.

And you know how i look forward to our fridays and weekends. Its about time i pit my skills against ikea furniture(if the ikea workguy doesn't beat me to it) and mass packing. I'm helping you, your mum, cass, ah girl, ah boy move houses and i dont care. Heh.

Jinny

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

sometimes you just have to open up your eyes and wake up to realise what the fuck is wrong with yourself.
and if you can't, ask.

jinn said...

so friend. what the fuck do you think is wrong with me?

jinn said...

but then again friend. i've kept my eyes open for a bulk of time now. maybe i'm just too ignorant to realise about whatever's wrong with me. So if you would please, tell me, i could clear the air. it'd do me good.