Despite being strong enough to clamp my fingers on crimps and small handholds, I started jogging today. Again. Much to the dismay of my unlubricated throat. I managed to maintain composure and keep my lunch firmly at the bottom of my throat while i was gagging and gasping for breath. I feel herculean.
Sometimes i get so upset about everything I contemplate to.. Well basicly i have no balls for anything, there's still so much of life to live out, yet there are equally as much to die for. Literally.
I get so preoccupied with unnecessary thoughts. Stuff that i shouldn't give two fucks about. Yet, stuff that stresses the shit out of me. Why do i care about you?! And what you do. You'll do what you do, and you'll enjoy what you do, and why am i breaking myself because of what you fucking do? You like bohemian, so be it.
I feel myself rolling 3 years back. 3 long fucking years back into the depression.
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists, it isn't that much fun. And if your heart stops beating, i'll be here wondering, did you get what you deserved?
Jinny
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