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Picture this, me, sitting at the dining table, my grandmother on my left, my great grandmother on my right, both watching me and my pizza, and i mean literally watching..

A few issues have been brought to mind these few days, firstly about the blog spamming, i feel its a real tragedy to be having someone posting negative comments about you and your friends, especially on chatterboxes and stuff.. i mean, its disgraceful, but not to the person who manages the blog, it is to the person who's posting all these comments with an anonymous profile, xr, constantly a victim of blog spamming, and i had it once before, but i dont take it seriously, because if that anonymous wants me to know how much of a negativity i am, i dont see why profiles need to be kept un-shown.. so, i usually take stuff like as pinches of salt, i mean why get worked up over it, if anonymous doesnt respect you and the site you share your thoughts and experiences with, then why respect anonymous and his comments? right?

My great-grandma is currently residing in my house again after being discharged from UH, and as unbelievable as it seems, she has becomed more lively, she talks more, she tells amusing stories about her "journeys" to weird places, she walks without much help and she eats more! im guessing the sodium and glucose mixed in her drips at the hospital. Dad was telling me the other day, when she fainted, she didnt practically faint, she was erm, kinda on her way to you know.. death, dad said when he saw her feet were pointing downwards instead of the normal sleeping position we usually aquire where our toes point upwards, toes pointing downwards when someone is "sleeping" are dues to muscle stiffness (theres a name for it, i totally forgot!) which can only happen, when someone is no more... alive... so dad said he gave himself 2 choices, its either great-grandma passes away right here on the bed of our maid's room, or she get sent immediately to the hospital and hopefully with MUCH luck, be saved, well.. the desicion was obvious and who couldve imagine how lively she could be after being discharged! If great-grandma was back in Muar last Tuesday, she couldve slipped into the endless process most widely labelled as Death.

Speaking about death, my g-grandma issue has gotten me thinking alot about the definition and meanings beyond words about death. where do we go after we're gone? i think i might be the only teenager to think so deeply into the foul, forbidden and unlucky thing called death. could death be like a dream, that when you're dead, you wake up again in a time and place as if you were sleeping and then you live your life, and then you die again, and the process goes on and on.. these are some things we'll never know.. probably because no one has ever experienced it fully and told us how it is.. so to know it is like a one way experiment, my thoughts and hypothesis about this issue in my head are waaayy more complicating than words can describe, no matter how much i soo wanna spill it out, its almost impossible to translate thoughts into words, especially on issues like this, imagine, someone or something with a life, that can move, communicate, talk, and then without warning, become something lifeless which can no longer move, nor talk.. its scary at the thought of it, but it is almost impossible to be shunned away from it in the walk of life, its just something we've got to accept, unexpectedly or not, shocking or not... as i said, its hard to understand words extracted from the mind.. p.s. im NOT thinking suicidal!!...

I just realised this could be my longest ever blog post, actually ive been planning this over pizza and lasagne at the dining table with my 2 grannies.. erm.. watching..

p.s. to anyone who has posted unruly comments on people's blogs and reading this, you should be really really ashamed of yourself!! you're probably jealous because we all have blogs and you dont! oh btw, u can try making one for yourself! its easy.. theres blogspot, xanga, blogdrive, freewebs, erm.. lots more which i cant really remember! but i suggest blogspot, cause im using it! haha.. and you can add those lil chatterboxes on your page so others can post idiotic insults and comments about you on it!! ya knoe what i mean raaaiigghhtt?? ;)