I fucking fucking need it

"Our real future lies in the dirt and soil we walk on."

I've reached that interval in time in which i NEED a fresh new start. Just a few more trips for what's past and moulding to ponder and prepare for a new life, lifestyle.

New routines, new balance, new turn, new confidence, new respect, new people.

Because my self-esteem is dwindling and i'm being eaten away.

I should be going to Singapore on either friday or saturday before i fly off to Melbourne with the girlfriend for a recuperation period. Just to do a little more thorough thinking and planning the next step. And when i get back, i'm leaving everything as it is and i'm moving on from this.

My next chapter is not about repairing bonds. Its about getting myself employed. Getting myself useful for the right reasons. Finding a new clique, because existing ones seldom seem to stand on their side of the scale.

Here's to finding myself.

Oh, by the way, if you need something that i could and might provide despite whatever shit, you ask me yourself.

Jinny