Dark christmas

I sleep with 5 alarms everytime i have to wake up early. But today.

"Jinn, wake up, por por passed away."

I lied in the dim glow of the morning light, just stared at the ceiling. Even before my sister made it clear that my grandma had passed i made it sure myself. I knew what was coming, i knew what she said even before she said it. My mind was just following her like karaoke when she said those words, its all too familiar.

No one took it by surprise because it was very much expected, my grandma had gall bladder cancer. A cancer so rare that universities have been requesting for specimens for further research. It only took 2 weeks from a severe abdominal pain to gall bladder stones, to cancerous cells eating into her liver then poisoning of the blood. Absolute renal failure was the killer blow and she's been in the ICU for a very hectic week as her stability went downhill.

As for me, i paid the price for only visiting her once in the last 2 weeks, i'll never see my por por walk up my staircase anymore, i'll never get to salute her personally for climbing the great wall when she was 82 with us although i never did even if i had the chance. I'll never get to see or hear my mum complain about force feeding her because she was malnutritioned, (she had a petite physique). Chinese new years are never the same anymore, her annual birthday gathering would never bring families together as always, and we'll never go for our annual frasers hill trip on the 24th of every december the same again.

We're suppoed to leave today, but we stayed back to watch her leave for somewhere else. To see my grandfather after almost a 20 year lapse.

Por por's on the right. I've not seen anyone hold chopsticks with so much grace.

I salute my grandmother, my mother's mother, mother of 15 children, grandmother of couple of dozen grandchildrens, great-grandmother of a handful of great-grandchildrens. I salute her for her contribution to the medical field on her dying days. I respect her for staying hospital-free for the past 80 odd years. I'm contented she lived a life well lived with a magnificent family. I'm also contented she got to see all 15 children before she finally let go of the sorrow and suffering. She could've gone earlier but she held on and waited for one more daughter from singapore. I was and still am proud to have and had a grandmother like her.

I'll be away in malacca from tomorrow until thursday, so while you're celebrating christmas back home with your families and lots of presents under that christmas tree of yours, i bid you a HAPPY HAPPY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Dont MIT lei sai lou ge lan tao just because he gets a better present. :)

Oh and of course, after a whole week of production. Finally, me and brad, bradjinn, we present to you our latest video. Please put those banners up on your blog as well! Thats a RAP!!

BradJinn Production presents:
IT ENDS TONIGHT


It gets better and better.

Jinny