DamDum

You've gotta read this!

If you think some couple named their daughter 17 years ago after your standard F&N Sarsi is an amusing disaster of the people of great Malaysia. You've not read the best part of this article.

Read this carefully and notice how our people can be freaking DUMB.

The Ambi Mohan feller lah. Lodge police report because some purpoted blogger used only ONE emoticon in her blog post. I didn't know you can also make a report for someone being a little too lazy. Like that my parents and puay chai teachers should've put me in jail a long time ago.

Sohai.

Jinny

It's Friday

This is a copy from Shuwen's blog.

1.) Put your music player on shuffle
2.) Press forward for each question.
3.) Use the song title as the answer to the question
4.) NO CHEATING!!!

1.) How am I feeling today?
Anberlin - Stationary

2.) Where will I get married?
Creed - My Own Prison

3.) What is my best friend's theme song?
Westlife - Flying Without Wings

4.) What is/was highschool like?
My Chemical Romance - Welcome To The Black Parade

5.) What is the best thing about me?
Vertical Horizon - I'm Still Here

6.) How is today going to be?
Legions Of Doom - The Quiet Screaming

7.) What is in store for this weekend?
Motion City Soundtrack - Make Out Kids

8.) What song describes my parents?
Josh Groban - You Raise Me Up *gasps O.O!*

9.) How is my life going?
Scary Kids Scaring Kids - The City Sleeps In Flames

10.) What song will they play at my funeral?
System Of A Down - Hypnotize

11.) How does the world see me?
Stereophonics - Devil

12.) What do my friends really think of me?
Linkin Park - By Myself

13) Do people secretly lust after me?
Brand New - Am I Wrong (to think so? hahahaha)

14.) How can I make myself happy?
Three Days Grace - Just Like You

15.) What should I do with my life?
The Shins - Caring Is Creepy

16.) Will I ever have children?
N'Sync - This I Promise You *LOL!!!!*

17.) What is some good advice?
My Chemical Romance - I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

18.) What do I think my current theme song is?
Everclear - Everything To Everyone

19.) What does everyone else think of my current life?
Audioslave - The Curse

20.) What type of men/women do you like?
Nightwish - Nemo *:D*

21.) Will you get married?
Green day - She's A Rebel *i really doubt it*

22.) What should I do with my love life?
The Panic Channel - Why Cry

23 .) Where will you live?
New Found Glory - I Dont Wanna Know

24.) What will your dying words be?
Audioslave - Your Time Has Come *=.= i thought it was mine?*

25.) When im having sex i say..
Avenue Q - The Internet Is For Porn *OMGG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA*

26.) When I meet a girl/boy for the first time i say..
Something Corporate - Punk Rock Princess

27.) When my parents are angry i say..
Butch Walker - Maybe It's Just Me

Almost everything is so coincidental it scares me!! Haha. Copy this and go make yourself laugh.

Jinny

Cry on my shoulders

I hate being emotional. Not like is something foreign in my life, but i find myself a little more proned to tears welling up now. You know the sensation everytime you see people say goodbye reluctantly and they cry on tv, and you just feel like you wanna cry also.

Your nose gets this sudden surge of air rushing in and your eyes simutaneously becomes moist. I tell myself i cannot cry. Because i have my ego, because i have an image i have to keep so that i will not break down emotionally when everyone's around, i think i have to be a man and a man doesnt cry, crying is only for girls. But when it comes down to certain situations, we're all only human, and the humane thing to do is to cry.

I remember back in form 2 i was living with a suicidal mind. Everyday i wake, i think about wanting to hurt myself, i write songs about wanting to kill myself, i sing stuff about self suicides, i even carved out "life" on my forearms with a blade. There were so many things running through my mind then, until now, the reason i was that way, i dont even know, no one knows. What was the root to my misery, what was keeping me from leading a wonderful life like everyone else around. I just thought of darkness, death, what if i die now, who would actually take notice. Honestly i wouldn't say it hasn't followed me till this day, i still have those scars of the troubled life. A troubled life you say? At a raw age of just 13? When you think everything turns their backs to you with addition to the bottled up confusion. You literally are a volcanic eruption just waiting to happen.

There was this one day, a usual day, and usual day to me that time was me, just wanting to be alone, not paying attention to the bickering filling the air, just in school, being the usual quiet, conservative me. We had PJK, but at the same time it was raining so everyone had to cluster at one edge of the canteen and copy PJK notes into exercise books. While everyone else were talking about football, girls, sex, all that jazz we guys talk about, i remember a dissappointed me just staring at the text book. Though i cant remember what i was dissappointed about but i do recall me not aknowledging whatever other people said to me, i just stared, my mind racing with thoughts, paranoia and all that. I felt like that was it, the pinnacle of my frustrations and problems, the lava knocking on crater's door. Then my coach, was on his way back to the quartermaster room and passed our class, i looked at him and turned away. Suddenly i felt his hand grasp my shoulders and he said "what's wrong?", then, eruption point, that instant i just couldn't care about anything else anymore, whether my class was witnessing my fall as a man, what they'll say, how shocked they were, i just cried, i cried myself dry that evening in front of every gazing eye.

I've been there, i've been on the brink of suicide, and it isn't pleasant, it isn't a place where you go to in your mind and hope for pity. Because your sanity will kill you. I still talk about death nowadays, but i bear in mind that i also know a little bit more about life day after day ever since. I think of my life being miserable now, then i contemplate my absence in this world, then it kicks in, the reminders of life, i tell myself i cant leave my family behind, i just cant do it, i cant leave my girlfriend behind, i cant leave my friends behind, i cant leave this world and its splendours behind because there are so many new things to experience.

Yes, like any macho-man would tell you, boys dont cry. I admit i feel embarressed to cry, i feel like a pussy, i feel ugly, i get conscious of what others think if they found out that i am in touch with my feminine side of crying, very in touch in fact, but ironically at the same time, i feel good after a round of crying. You know, sometimes we guys would rather bottle up than burst, some of us dont even care about the things that makes us emotional, because sometimes life is a little too easy to be taken for granted. But i think once in awhile, we should all just let our guards down and flood this damn place up. We're only human, and the humane thing to do is to cry.

I admit, sometimes i cry like a little girl. Emelia knows that. :)

Jinny

Boomiwouldliketoexplode

"Oh dear oh dear, you gotta help me on this". "I've never felt this blank ever!". As the silent pleas twisted and cornered around my head. Unnessecary thoughts of regret and frustration clouding my judgements. I stared blankly at the blank biology questions, hoping a ray of hope would suddenly penetrate through the upper echelons of the hall and bathe me in any instant. Nothing happened. No inspiration, no sudden surge of knowledge, nothing. I know i've done badly, for biology, for chemistry, for add maths, for history, for my pride, for my confidence and of course for my college entry visa.

Anyway its almost over now.

So far i've only had once or twice during the whole exam period to finish early and lay my head on the table. I have no time to even finish my papers, not like i can finish everything but you're halfway through your last essay and an invigilator snatches it away from you. There could only be two reasons why my hourglass keeps filling up at the bottom before i'm actually done. Either the ministry has done something drastic to hurry papers with shorter times or maybe time to time i find myself leaning back, peeling my fingernails, staring aimlessly at the questions pretending to myself that i'm working my answer out, or just staring at the invigilators. "Oo, pn. liew gets on so well with the amarasinggam". Stuff like that.

And when i do have the time to lay back and relax after a paper. I draw. :)

I need to find my footing lah.

Lukas Rossi won!! Good on ya.

Jinny

To "eat finish ade" and beyond

Remember i said something about a cholesterol test and me dying of suspected heart failure? Suspect no more! The results are out!

And, *drum rolls*
I HAVE A SLIGHTLY HIGH LEVEL OF CHOLESTEROL.

Lightly because i dont wanna scare myself just yet at this raw age. In other words, slightly means borderline lah. Means counted as high cholesterol lah. :(

See the LDL inscribed in bold? I dunno what it means but it seems that cholesterol in your body has 2 types. HDL is one type your body needs, so LDL means unwanted ones. Those that cause the fats to accumulate in the outer walls of your heart blocking all the arteries.

The computer was so nice to put that little star in front before bolding all the letters to show me that i have a problem. But luckily it was the only problem i have with my Lipid Studies.

Apparently the desrable level for the LDL cholesterol is below 2.58 and i got a 2.83. Which puts in the borderline condition. Long way more to risk indicator level but a short way to dying.

The rest all okay except for stupid LDL. Because of you LDL, ah ma wouldn't allow me to eat as much prawns as i want without nagging, ah ma also wouldn't let me fry anything without reminding me how my grandpa died, mummy wouldn't give me 11 bucks for kfc every friday night after tuition anymore, mlia wants me to eat celery, i cant enjoy eating anything without thinking of the long term effects and not seeing my grandchildren throw each other around at home and tripping me with my walking stick. :(

Because of you lah.

LDL is not the only stupid thing right now, stupid stupid english paper. I admit, iw as abit cocky and over-confident by not preparing thinking i can just sit there and let everything flow right out. Paper 2 was okay. Considering i created my own moral values for the Pearl. Then bloody paper 2 made us write a speech about the importance of national service. As much as i think its useless, i had no choice but to menanam tebu di mulut. Sweet praises about the benefits lah, how people gain useful knowledge by firing rifles onto moving targets. Maybe i'm just ignorant about the good points of it even though i was *thankfully* not selected. But just had to do it lah.

The 2nd choice essay i chose interesting malaysian habits and practices because the rest just didn't appeal to me although i thought i could've done a better job writing about fire. Not as good as bradley, talking about how the africans danced around fire and gypsies burning on a stake. I've a gut feeling i screwed up my essay because every habit was negatively wrote and i didn't state anything about practices. Practices and habits same right? First thing that came to my mind was malaysian punctuality. Then our courtesy. Then road habits. Then our chinglish slang. Then no more time.

"Ever heard that familiar constant honk behind you as you hesitate to take that U-turn? Ever had your mum tell you its okay to be late because everyone's going to be late anyway?"

Thats how i started it, and then from there onwards is negative negative negative comments all the way. Lucky mr. mail is marking not the government, or else i might be banished to seychelles like tunku ngah ibrahim.

Hold on, let me fish the question paper out of my bag.

Write a story ending with........ It was a stepping stone to success. How pussily lame can the teacher get setting questions like that?

By the way, i noticed something on my cholesterol result slip.

Age :17 Means i'm eligible to drive lah!

Jinny

Exactly, why?

Suddenly i'm feeling the bitterness of losing steve irwin. I know, knock myself in the head for feeling this much for the loss of someone i ignore on tv but i was flipping through the nature channels on astro today and i came across The Crocodile Hunter. Apparently they now have tributes on animal planet and they're putting a crocodile hunter marathon on air with little subtitles dragging across your screen paying tribute to mr. crikey.

Then it dawned on me. As i gradually get engrossed with the slang, the enthusiasm, the blonde frisky hair and the constant repetition of "australian bush". This steve irwin guy who got poked in the heart by a marine animal we cook curry with, he's quite an interesting bloke. No, i totally disagree that he's just an ordinary bloke because if ordinary blokes are like that in australia, they'd all get their asses probed by aliens. Anyway, what he deserves is a state funeral to honour his efforts to wildlife conservation, and of course, putting ozzieland on the world map with every kid in every corner belching out a true blue ozzie "crikey".

We'll all miss him thats to no avail. At least i am. But his wife, she's just another boring ol american yankee who has seemingly picked up a little bit of the ozzie way to slur stuff on camera. But hell no, we've seen enough of that so please get her off the tellies.

With the croc hunter gone up above now, we may think that crocs aren't anymore that interesting. But wait, before you go back to hating crocodiles, there's another croc that's taking the world by storm and you dont need a hunter or be hunted for it. Crocs sandals! You know when bradley and i first spotted a handful of people wearing crocs in camp 5 i was like "that's the ugliest shit i've seen people wear on their feet". Maybe because at that time they were all wearing yellow ones, but right now, like the case of steve irwin, i think to myself and say hey, looks smashing cool, i want a pair.

And it seems like if you get a job in camp 5, you'll get a mud brown for free, but the fact is, they have an astounding array of colours and i dont know why everyone only wants boooorrriiinnnggg colours. You give me cash and i'll be the first to wear pink crocs in my ah pek shorts and a white singlet. Deal? Mmmm. I like.

Tomorrow we got english! And it is no surprise to me having difficulties expressing myself on paper. I hate hate writing essays. Especially those where you have to write letters to your friends telling them what a pussy you are back home. Those are just crap lah. I'm just looking forward to the whole stress free feeling about it. Like they say, just let it flow. So tomorrow i'm gonna tilt my head forward, nudge my forehead with a little nutcracker and let the juices flow. Write whatever is at the top of my head with the intensity as red as my blood on my paper. Wait, it is blood on my paper. Haha. Lame! See what i mean. I'm so helpless when i'm just sitting there, gazing at the invigilators, playing pretend i'm on beacho paradiso sipping on ice cold spritzer with my hands behind my head leaning back. Then i just sit there until one word by one word starts gallavanting into my mind and slides down to my pen. The cruel thing is that everything interesting is never punctual, when you hand the paper in then your mind starts spoonfeeding you with inspiration to write when its all too late. "I should've wrote that in!"

Tomorrow is just the end of a relatively tame opening week of the exams. Next week's gonna be fajitas in hot tabasco sauce, spring chicken in extra peri-peri. Its not going to be easy, but when its in your mouth, just swallow it.

You spit, your mummy whack chatt you.

Today's physics was pretty fucked up. They ask for ways to modify and pimp and boon siew honda motorcycle into bob teutul american chopper whilst making it as safe for the rider as possible.
- Wheels supersize in diameter for stability.
- Sharp frontside for aerodynamic propeties.
- Easy-to-fold material for motorcycle body to delay impulse force.
And i was wasting about 10 minutes contemplating about air-bags. Then i thought to myself to not be silly because motorcycles cant afford an air-bag, no dashboard, no steering wheel. Sounds logical right?

Until i came home, opened my homepage and.

Pbbbbbbbbffffttttttttttttt.

Jinny

In crikey memory, borat and lipoma

The passing of Chief Rev. K Sri Dhammananda, the ironic demise of Steve Irwin. One as peacefully as the wind breezes and another probably not so. Come to think of it, steve's death seemed like it was planned. I mean, what are the odds of a subtle creature like the stingray stinging someone although the name suggests that it does sting quite alot somehow, or else why not name it springray or whatever. The point is, it all seems like some assasination plot to me. Just one poke to the heart, directly to the heart as small as a fist. So accurate its like getting pregnant on your first try. But then again it was just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. What an unlucky bastard.

Although, i really dont know whats the deal of putting a green tortoise in front of your nicknames on msn in a loving tribute to the late steve crikey irwin. Is the tortoise the closest you can get to a reptile that irwin fondly handles? You might as well just put a rose or just quote "crikey" before every nickname. Then only it makes more sense.

Anyway, these 2 deaths in a week have got me comtemplating. You just never know when you're next on the guillotine, and to insist that you'll definately have another day to breathe the air is a very arrogant and sinful mindset. If so, unfortunately we're sinners. How often have you noticed yourself talking about tomorrows tomorrows and tomorrows bearing in mind that tomorrow may never exist. Everytime you procrastinate in something crucial and important, you might never get that chance anymore. Life is uncertain whether you like it or not, like the little worker ant i just rolled into a ball and flicked far away.

Bear in mind that everything is in the here and now. So why convince yourself there's so much more time to spare? So go out there, and tell the person how much you'd like to see him or her dead, or how much you celebrate them life. For the next time you might be standing in the middle of a funeral procession, mumbling quietly under your breath wishing you had said those words, while you could've still have gotten a response.

Then again, we're all just shy. :)
Too shy till we'd rather not say anything to anyone and take it down to the grave.

Hanyway, the trials have started. It is an early passport for college intake and to scurry of to neighbouring countries fast with fine gleaming scholarships. I thought i stood a great chance this time to AT LEAST get credits, lots of em.. until i saw and experienced matematik tambahan 1.

Gosh, suddenly the clouds gathered and the future looks kinda bleak.

One more paper like that and i'll have to start looking for a job in carrefour. *gulps* chemistry. *gulps* biology. Talk about being a biotechnician. Thank god tomorrow is break day out of nowhere. Right in the middle of it all, a day with no significant papers. Just a mere P&P written in tomorrow's exam schedule. What's P&P? Plug and play? Pretty and paid? What matters is that school is irrelevant tomorrow.

As of now, 10pm onwards, i'm on fasting mode. Berpuasa-ing for the next 10 hours because i'm going for a cholesterol check tomorrow. Not that not eating will affect me at all in the dead of the night but what if i'm really on a high level of cholesterol? At such an age. Recently i noticed a growth on the right side of my abdomen the size of a ping pong ball. But i checked it out today at the clinic and thankfully nothing cancerous, and poses no threat, its just a neoplasm of fatty tissue accumulated under the skin, called lipoma and can only be surgically removed. Probably due to cholesterol which is why i'm getting my level checked. I've got a gut feeling my cholesterol level might just be my cause of death. As my family history states.

On a happy note, Borat's movie will be out this november. And to those who only know borat as a hairy, moustached, green skimpy leotard wearing dude on brad's blog, you obviously haven't seen any of him in action. Which is why i'm giving you a chance to laugh at borat. Yeshkemesh.


You can also go to youtube and type the keyword borat. Or you can check out his official website which will be linked on my blog at the "sites i visit" column. If possible, send yourself into a mass laughing hysteria while doing it.

Anybody got a cure for a cut on the lip?

Jinny

A life well lived

To Chief.
Always remembered,
As a man brimming with confidence.
As a man overwhelmed with bravery.
As a man teeming with wisdom.
As a man who inspires everyone at all.
As a man who is inspired by the people he inspires.
As a man who writes what he believes.
As a man who smiles so adorably.
As a man who would never let his wrinkles intimidate him.
As a man who was never camera-shy.
As a man who would allow his bodily deeds talk a thousand words.
As a man who's love and compassion radiates along his silhouette.
As a man with serenity etched in his voice.
As a man so respected yet so humble.
As a man friendly amongst the hostile and peaceful amongst the violent.
As a man who brought the Dharma to those seeking buddhism.
As a man who illuminated our spiritual lives.
As a man who would convey spiritual talks so philosophically funny.
As a man who'd pat me on my head when i'd walk past.
As a man who knew me as Charlie Chia's son.
As a man who's demise would be a great loss to buddhism.
As a man who finally let go of all things mortal and passed on.
As a man who'd only gain more respect in times to come.
As a man with a life well lived.
A life noble and true.

Goodbye Chief Reverend.

Jinny